The Only Three Things Moms REALLY Need to Do

FACT: If your children can’t read by age four there is a 95% chance they will end up homeless and on drugs.

FACT: If your children eat any processed food there is an 85% chance they will contract a rare, most likely incurable disease, by age 12.

FACT: If you’re not up at dawn reading the Bible to your children, you are most likely a pagan caught in the clutches of witchcraft.

FACT: If your children watch more than 10 minutes of television a day there is 75% chance they will end up in a violent street gang by age 17.


Stephen Altrogge
Stephen Altrogge
I’m married to Jen, and I have three kids. I know a lot about Star Wars, and I live in a van down by the river. You can find me onFacebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Google+. I’ve also written a number of books, which people seem to like. You can get them all right here!

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