After giving birth to my fourth child only weeks before Mother’s Day, I was sure Paul was going to orchestrate my special day with a five-course gourmet breakfast and a Blue Angels fly-over.
When my little Gracie climbed up into my bed on Mother’s Day morning and whispered in my ear, “Daddy didn’t take us to get anything for you,” the fury of an angry postpartum lioness possessed my mom-body.
Minutes later I was magically presented with a half-dead potted plant he ran out and purchased from a guy selling Harley Davidson throw rugs.
No, I never expected him to buy me anything grand or even expensive. But, after delivering him a ten pound son, I was hoping he’d make sure the kids drew me a squiggly picture and maybe served me a couple slices of soggy French Toast with a side of lukewarm orange juice.
None of those dreams came true.
If you’re lucky enough to have an amazing husband that takes your little ones and circles the wagons around you every Mother’s Day —good for you.
But, for someone like me with an incredible husband who lacks wisdom on a day he blames on Hallmark, here’s my three tips for keeping your marriage intact:
- Mute Button. Keep your thoughts to yourself. Expectations have a way of muddying the marriage waters. Be grateful for whatever your husband does orchestrate with your little ones. Even if that means he’s running out to purchase a bouquet of wilted flowers from a guy at the gas station on his way home from church. Your kids are watching. Hold that tongue. You’ll be happy you did. I promise.
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. James 1:19
- Order Out. Nothing says “I love you Mom” like Chinese take-out. Remind your husband of the nearest restaurant by leaving the phone number on a sticky-note on his iPhone—or his forehead.
And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
- Marriage is Forever. You made a vow. You told God and your husband that you would love him for better or worse. That includes pathetic Mother’s Day habits. Remember, marriage is forever—Mother’s Day is only once a year.
When you vow a vow to God, do not delay paying it, for he has no pleasure in fools. Pay what you vow. It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay.
After almost eighteen years of marriage, I’ve finally learned gift-giving is not my husband’s love language, but, acts of service definitely are.
