As a mom of four boys, I wouldn’t use the words “quiet” or “still” to describe the aura of our abode all too often. My boys are amazing at so many things, but being quiet is not one of them. So, when my four little kiddos are strangely quiet, I get a nervous. But, Friends, NOTHING prepared me for what I saw during one of these moments the other day.
The boys were playing together nicely in our living room and play area. My husband and I had just checked on our eighteen month-old and watched him smile as he tinkered with his baby kitchen. They were all “occupied” as far as I could see, so I went to my bedroom to put away some clothes while my husband was working on his laptop.
Our master bedroom is literally only about ten steps away from the play area, so I didn’t think little Chatham–the baby–could get into anything without me hearing it. Not to mention, we have a gate blocking the stairs and locks on all the danger zones, so I honestly didn’t think he could get into much trouble.
Boy, was I wrong.
I was in my room for maybe five or ten minutes, and I heard something that I NEVER hear…
I paused and pictured how sweetly my kids must be playing together. Maybe they were reading a book aloud and quietly giggling about it in the play area. Or, maybe they were inthralled in a thrilling game of hide and seek. Or…
Before I let my mind wander to far, I thought, “Wait! These are MY kids. My crazy kids who are NEVER quiet!”
Something was wrong. Very wrong.
My heart started to beat out of my chest as I ran out of my room in search of the kids. I saw the three older kiddos, but no Chatham.
“Where’s Chatham?”, I asked nervously.
My older kids shrugged their shoulders and seemed unaware that he was no longer with them.
I didn’t know whether to be mad or not, but I was worried.
I quickly found my husband to see if he had grabbed Chatham. But, he hadn’t. He jumped up and started helping me search high and low for our precious baby boy.
“Chatham, where are you?” we shouted, as if he could answer us. But, there was no sound and no sight of him. My adrenaline was off the charts, and I was definitely beginning to nervously sweat while moving room to room in search of our youngest.
Then, I saw a door cracked open. The door that all of us know to NEVER leave open. The door I close multiple times a day. The infamous BATHROOM DOOR.
I rushed over and was at first relieved to see my precious baby Chatham alive and well, with a huge smile on his face. But, just before I exhaled in relief, I realized that this wasn’t just any grin. Chatham’s mouth had a huge black ring around it. I couldn’t figure out what he’d gotten into until my eyes zoomed out to take in the whole scene. I couldn’t believe what I saw.
My little eighteen month-old stood there with no pants on and an Oreo in each hand, doing what we’re supposed to do with Oreos. He was dunking them–but, not in a cool glass of milk. No. He was dunking them in the TOILET WATER and EATING THEM. I feel sick even writing this down, and I honestly almost threw up at the sight of this disgusting scene.
Bless his little heart, he was so proud. But, all I could think about was the fact that Chatham was probably digesting his brother’s turds. Yes, you read that right–I said “turds,” because no one wants to flush a toilet in this house. I didn’t want Chatham to get sick, and I had to get the nasty toilet water–and whatever else was in there–out of him.
So, I did what any mom in my situation would do. I asked my husband to help me take Chatham over to the sink, and I gagged him. He spit up the cookies and, hopefully, any fecal matter he may have consumed.
Yes, this whole thing is as ridiculous and gross as it sounds. Just another day in Mommyland, right?
I wish I had footage of all this, because I know we will look back and laugh. It’s one of those things that motherhood just doesn’t prepare you for, and yet, now I know.
Poor little Chatham. I hope he learned that Oreos are meant for a glass of milk–not a toilet. And, I certainly learned that silence can be a little dangerous in this house.