Nearly three years after enduring three miscarriages, Carrie Underwood opened up this week about the honest conversations that brought healing in the midst of tragedy.
In the second episode of “Mike and Carrie: God and Country,” a four-part mini-series through I Am Second, both Carrie and Mike recount “the wrestle” they endured in growing their family. But it wasn’t a quarrel between husband and wife, but rather, a wrestle with their faith and with God.
Five years into their marriage, Mike and Carrie welcomed their first son Isaiah, and it was clear early on that they wanted him to have a little brother or sister.
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A planner by nature, Carrie says they started planning what growing their family would look like, and when they set out to have another baby, they got pregnant again “fairly easily.” But everything changed when they endured pregnancy loss for the first time.
“It sounds wrong when you say it, but it’s one of those ‘bad things that happens to other people,’ you know what I mean?” Underwood explained of how she viewed miscarriage before it was a reality for her and Mike. “It’s like so many things in the world; it’s not something that you ever envision yourself having to deal with.”
Within a few months, they got pregnant again. And shortly after, they lost that baby.
“You pray and you pray and you pray, and sometimes I think I’m guilty of expecting God to be a genie in a bottle, and it’s not that,” Mike says.
But through prayer, the Lord revealed to Mike that they would indeed have another baby — a boy, named Jacob.
“Mike came to me one day and said, ‘we’re gonna to have another baby and it’s gonna to be a boy, and his name’s going to be Jacob,’” Carrie recalls through tears. “And you know this because?” she asked him.
“I was frustrated,” Fisher explained. “We’d had two miscarriages. What’s the future look like? We don’t know. Are we going to adopt? Are we going to … just going through things in your mind. I was just wrestling and probably the most honest I’d been with God. And I heard, not audibly, but I just sensed that God told me that we were going to have a son, and his name’s Jacob.”
Not long after that, they got pregnant again. And for the third time, they endured pregnancy loss.
Naturally, doubt set in, and Mike began questioning whether he was hearing things right in his time with the Lord, while Carrie admits she was angry at God. Still, they pressed on and got pregnant a fourth time.
On a Friday night, Carrie told Mike they had lost the baby, again. All signs pointed to yet another miscarriage, and Carrie said, “I had just kinda had enough.”
Just like a parent who knows what’s wrong with their child, still wants their child to talk to them about what’s wrong, Carrie says God wants that from us. Not wanting to be alone, she crawled into bed with her sleeping son Isaiah, and sobbed to the Father about her hurt and pain and anguish.
“And I told him how I felt. I was hurt. I was a little angry and, of course, you feel guilty for being mad at your creator. And I told him I needed something. We needed to have a baby or not ever because I couldn’t keep going down that road anymore.”
When Monday rolled around, Carrie went to her doctor to confirm the miscarriage, only to learn that she hadn’t lost this baby! Her pregnancy was progressing perfectly, and in January 2019, the couple welcomed their son, Jacob.
Looking back, Mike and Carrie say they had never considered the name Jacob before God revealed it to Mike. But having walked through this journey of pregnancy loss and wrestling with God, they realized why Jacob was the perfect name.
“The story of Jacob is he wrestled with God through the night, and he wouldn’t let him go until he got his blessing,” Mike says, noting the parallels between the Bible story and their own journey. “We weren’t demanding that he give us his blessing. We were just being honest with him.”
Mike says walking through the “valley” of multiple miscarriages allowed him and Carrie to work on their faith together like they’d never done before, and it changed their marriage for the better.
Catch all of the episodes of “Mike and Carrie: God and Country” at iamsecond.com.