Hey there, Mom-Who-Thinks-She’s-Not-Good-Enough. Are you the one I overhead calling yourself a failure? The one who said, “I see all these other moms doing amazing things for their kids, and I’m just trying to get through the day”?
Pay attention, mama, ‘cause here’s some truth: you’re getting more right than you realize. Just because you don’t feel like you measure up to Fantasy Facebook Supermom doesn’t mean you’re coming up short. You’re just not giving yourself credit for all the good stuff you do on a regular basis.
So, how about a “mamassessment”? Consider it your mom checklist…positive results guaranteed. I’ll bet you hit the majority of these points (relevant to your stage of motherhood) in the last month. You probably nailed at least a couple of them just in the last week (or day…or hour).
Anything you did that’s close counts as a score. And don’t think too hard: when in doubt, you did it.
Give yourself a mental “check” if in relatively recent memory you…
1. Hugged/kissed/rubbed the back of/high-fived your children.
2. Correctly interpreted whether your baby’s cry meant “I’m hungry” or “I’m tired” or “I need a diaper change” or “I don’t know what I need but I know I need something.”
3. Told your kids “I’m proud of you” or “you did a great job” or “way to go.”
4. Remembered to schedule that teeth cleaning/well-check/ortho appointment/haircut for your child.
5. Attended your child’s concert/game/meet/tournament/program/recital.
7. Drove your musician to a lesson, your athlete to practice, your preschooler to a playdate, or your tween to a “friend hang-out.”
8. Comforted your kids. (“Comforted” is equivalent to any of the following: made murmuring sympathetic noises; held them on your lap; paced the floor with a child in your arms; bought your stressed-out teen Ben and Jerry’s Half-Baked ice cream even though it wasn’t on sale and encouraged its consumption straight out of the container*.)
9. Held onto that mystery plastic thingy you found on the kitchen floor in case someone needed it someday even though you had no idea what it was. And then produced it two hours later when your daughter said, “Mom, I’m missing the thingy that keeps my water bottle from leaking. Do you know where it is?”*
10. Made lunch. (“Made” is equivalent to any of the following: prepared; bought; stocked the refrigerator with supplies for.)
11. Answered, “I just washed it” when your tween asked, “Is there any way my white tank top can be clean by tomorrow?”
12. Knew the answer (or where to find the answer) to some random, schoolish question such as “is the relationship between a shark and a remora an example of symbiosis or commensalism?” or “what’s the difference between affect and effect?”
13. Made pizza for family pizza night. (“Made” is equivalent to any of the following: made from scratch; assembled; picked up; paid the delivery guy for.)
14. Lost sleep for your kids.
15. Served a green vegetable for dinner.
16. Served dinner.
17. Bragged on your kids. (Give yourself a bonus check if you did it while they could (over) hear you.)
18. Didn’t say what you wanted to say.
19. Did what you didn’t want to do.
20. Told your children you loved them. (Give yourself a bonus check if you did it when you didn’t entirely like them.)
21. Found, in approximately 0.003 seconds, the missing remote that the rest of your family insisted, after an exhaustive 10-minute search, was gone forever.*
22. Did not freak out when your upper-elementary student came home and wailed, “I don’t understand box multiplication!”—and you’d never even heard of box multiplication.*
23. Prayed with your kids.
24. Prayed for your kids.
25. Thanked God for your kids and the incredible privilege of being their mom.
*Inspired by actual events.
Scoring Your Mamassessment:
1-19 checks: You are a blessing to your children, and God has purposely chosen you to be their mom.
20+ checks: Fantasy Facebook Supermom, is that you?