Mamas, Don’t Miss This One Thing Your Child Needs Desperately—and Can ONLY Get From You

My son Josiah recently stopped wearing nappies and is now a full-blown toilet user {can I get a high five? Whoop!}. Aside from the awesomeness that is this milestone, God has used it to bless me in another way.

This morning, I was making Josiah’s bed after helping him get up on the loo. From the bathroom, all I could hear was this high, sweet, just delightful sing-song voice as our boy sat on the loo, happy-as-larry, completely unaware that this could be in any way, embarrassing. 

A grin just broke out on my face and my chest filled with the glory of love.

How comfortable how freehow completely able — Josiah was to just be himself, half starkers on the loo, without fear, embarrassment or shame to sing while he was doing his toilet thing.

As a parent, I have lost many toilet privileges. It’s not often I can have uninterrupted bathroom time. I have lost any sense of shame or privacy about sitting on the toilet with the door open so my kids can come in and pull things out of the drawers or show me their boo-boo or sit on my lap.

I’m okay with this. In fact, most of the time, there is something sweet about it. We’re family after all, nothing to be embarrassed about.

But the blissfully unaware way our two-year-old sang his songs on top his throne, the door wide open, interspersed by productive silences?

God just impressed upon my heart once again, how beautiful and how simple it is to give our children a home.


My heart felt full that our son feels home here, that he knows nothing else. He knows love, he knows security, he knows what it is to be fully himself – clothes or not – and be safe

How many children are there who don’t know this security? How many children are there that can almost feel no sense of shame or embarrassment that Adam and Eve felt before the Fall? Too many don’t. Oh, Lord, protect their little hearts.

Mothers, make it our aim to provide what every child’s soul needs – the ability to be fully themselves. Embrace their nudey silliness, sing along with their songs sung on the loo, smile as they run to you, proud of their toilet success {or any other such  potentially shame-inducing accomplishment}.

I remember, as a tween, home was the only place safe for me as a bullied schoolgirl. I could endure the days at school only because I knew at home I was safe. I could be me and not have to worry about all the things I was teased for. I cannot imagine what it is like for teens now when, what they endure at school, now comes home with them in the form of the internet and social media. I never had that and it saved me.

Shame is something that will come to our children, as it came to you and to me. But let us never let that awful feeling come from within the walls of our home. Home is safe. It must always be safe. Protect that safety with everything you can.

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Sarah Behan
Sarah is a tea-drinking, book-reading, gardening-wannabe from the South Island, New Zealand. She loves the Lord and desperately needs his grace everyday. Sarah is married to Tim, and there is nothing better than ending their day watching a TV series together. They're raising two little ones in a poorer neighborhood, making connections with others for the Gospel. She blogs at The Whole-Hearted Home.