‘If Miscarriage is 1 in 4, Why Do I Feel Like 1 in a Million?’—Ashley LeMieux Opens up About Traumatic Pregnancy Loss

Ashley LeMieux

Back in March, For Every Mom shared the story of Ashley LeMieux’s traumatic miscarriage of her son, Jayce.

“He came quickly and unexpectedly, and I delivered him all alone in a room that was never meant to deliver babies,” Ashley wrote of the experience, in which she was hospitalized for a kidney infection that led to sepsis.

 

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Our precious baby boy, Jayce Michael LeMieux, was delivered at 9:40 on Friday morning. ❤️ The name Jayce means ‘Healer’. That’s exactly who Jayce has been for us. This baby healed us in ways we never thought we’d experience again, and showed us that there is a beautiful life that is still waiting for us to live. Our hearts are cracked wide open again, but this time, we have Jayce as a guardian angel to help light our way. ❤️ At 16 weeks gestation, his body was perfect and healthy, but unfortunately, mine was not. The extent that the sepsis rapidly took over my body created a scenario in which we both couldn’t stay alive. It was too much to have a pregnancy withstand, and is something that is going to take a very long time for me to come to terms with. ❤️ He came quickly and unexpectedly, and I delivered him all alone in a room that was never meant to deliver babies. I sobbed and screamed on my bed, yelling to God that it wasn’t supposed to be this way, as I waited for a group of doctors to come help me. ❤️ After I delivered him, they rushed me to the Labor and Delivery unit of the hospital, which meant that my husband @mikelemieux could finally have permission to come and be with me after days of me fighting alone for my life in the hospital. (I’ll talk more about this later). ❤️ We’re still in the hospital, my body has a lot of healing to do. We spent precious time with our baby boy this morning to say our final goodbyes. His little hat fits in the palm of his daddy’s hand. ❤️ We love you Jayce. I can’t wait for the day I get to hold you in my arms. I wish that I could be where you are. #LeMieuxFamilyOfFive

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After days of fighting for her life, and the life growing inside of her, Ashley was forced to deliver their baby—alone, in a hospital room, without her husband at just 16 weeks. “I sobbed and screamed on my bed, yelling to God that it wasn’t supposed to be this way, as I waited for a group of doctors to come help me.”

Now, six months after losing her son to miscarriage, Ashley LeMieux is speaking out in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month.

“Having a miscarriage is lonely; going through one during a pandemic is incredibly isolating,” she wrote in a post back in August.

 

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Having a miscarriage is lonely; going through one during a pandemic is incredibly isolating. I remember how badly I wanted someone to hug me after I got home from the hospital. I just wanted to be held and told everything would be okay. Not being able to see any friends and family because of the pandemic was so new and unknown. Not having human contact was one of the hardest things to navigate and I was left feeling very alone. ❤️ Connection with others during grief is one of the most important parts of healing. That’s why online communities like @peanut are so important. The @peanut app is a reminder that even if you feel like you’re the only one, there are others on the journey with you. It’s a safe space to ask questions and learn from women who have been where you are now, find hope through them, and share stories. It provides connections throughout motherhood, infertility and loss. Having an online community of women who are going through the same experiences is an incredibly powerful thing, which is a big reason why I love you all so much! There’s a lot of healing that comes from realizing that there’s others on the journey with you. If you’re trying to conceive or dealing with loss, I encourage you to join. Love you guys, we’re doing hard things. And we don’t have to do them alone. #peanutapp

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“I remember how badly I wanted someone to hug me after I got home from the hospital. I just wanted to be held and told everything would be okay.”

Ashley says that the pandemic created irregular challenges that most people before 2020 never had to endure in the grieving process—like not being able to see friends or family. As a result, she felt very alone in her grief.

“Connection with others during grief is one of the most important parts of healing,” she says. “There’s a lot of healing that comes from realizing that there’s others on the journey with you.”

In a post this week, Ashley shared photos and videos that have marked her grief journey over the last six months. She also listed some Do’s and Don’ts for when someone’s baby dies.

 

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How to help your friend who’s going through a miscarriage: (you can save this post to come back to, & I’d love for you to add what’s helped you in the comments to create a resource for everyone❤️) This is one of my favorite photos from this year. It is a picture of hope, on a really hard day. One of the most asked questions I get is how can you show up for your friend who has experienced the loss of their baby. Here’s what’s helped me. 🌈 What NOT to do: -tell them everything happens for a reason -tell them “at least it was early” -never talk about it -ask them to reach out if they need anything (they need things; but they don’t know what they are) 🌈 What TO do: -Call the baby by their name if the child was named -acknowledge their loss, and let them know you’re in this with them -leaving the hospital empty handed was hell… coming home to love notes on my driveway and garage helped my transition home be filled with love – plant something in the baby’s honor, and show them – paint rocks in the baby’s honor and show them – one of my favorite gifts was a wind chime that my sister gave me. She put his name and birthday on it, and it hangs by the courtyard we made for him -drop off food -send a mama care package – send a card months after to let them know you are still thinking about them – I love my jewelry that has his name, if you’re looking for a gift – attend a memorial night with them if they’re going to one (my family is joining us this month at a candle lit vigil at the hospital) -send Cleaners to their house ❤️ For decades, it’s been taboo to talk about miscarriage, but we don’t need to suffer alone anymore. Since it’s pregnancy and infancy loss awareness month, I wanted to share tangible tools like these so that less women have to suffer alone. Today, my new podcast just went live as well. It’s a very powerful conversation with @jordanleedooley, about how to find strength after miscarriage. Listen now in the link in my bio… you could even send it to a friend as a starting place❤️

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“For decades, it’s been taboo to talk about miscarriage, but we don’t need to suffer alone anymore.”

This week, Ashley sat down with Jordan Lee Dooley for a powerful episode of The I Am Podcast, in which both women talked openly and honestly about the painful waters of navigating pregnancy loss.

Like Ashley, Jordan Lee Dooley has suffered not one, but two miscarriages over the last year. In an Instagram post this weekend, Jordan made a poignant observation about how pregnancy loss has marked her.

“When I was 20, all I wanted as a flat stomach. At 26, all I want is a round one,” she wrote. “Life’s weird, man.”

Jordan also took to her own podcast this week to discuss her journey to motherhood.

 

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Your life is a really big deal. #OwnYourEveryday

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If you or someone you know has experienced pregnancy loss or infant loss, know that you are not alone. These women are just two of the many who are sharing their experiences this month, in hopes of erasing the stigma around this life-shattering loss.


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Bri Lamm
Bri Lamm is the Editor of ForEveryMom.com! An outgoing introvert with a heart that beats for adventure, she lives to serve the Lord, experience the world, and eat macaroni and cheese all while capturing life’s greatest moments on one of her favorite cameras. Follow her on Facebook!