Or when we already have a million things going on but someone from church is struggling in their marriage and just needs a friend?
Are you there for people in the ways that you would want someone to be there for you?
Or have you been too busy focusing on your to-do list that you’ve lost sight of the people that God has called you to love?
Friendship Love Languages
It is common for us to love people in the way that we feel most loved. If we really enjoy receiving gifts, it’s likely that we will give gifts to other people because we know that that makes us feel special. But is it what makes your friend feel special?
I asked each of the girls in Bible Study to tell me their top two love languages. I was surprised to find that some of my closest friends had love languages that were completely different from what I would expect them to be.
The Five Love Languages include: Gifts, Quality Time, Words of Encouragement, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service and Touch. Mine is quality time!
I encourage you to ask your friends what their top to love language is and to share yours with them. Ask for examples of ways to love them well. This gives us a better idea on how to serve our friends in the way that they need it most.
The “I’m Good” Response
It is so common to walk in [through] the doors of church and to say, “How are you?“ And for the other person to respond with, “I’m good.“
But what do these words do? They shut down any further conversation. And it’s almost set up. Because when someone responds with, “I’m fine” then we feel obligated to say that we’re fine as well.
But when we are honest, and not afraid to be vulnerable with people in our lives, it gives the opportunity for others to be vulnerable with us.
Most of us aren’t always good, are we? We all have things going on at all times. And we all need someone to talk to, someone to point us to truth and someone to love us in hard seasons. So we have to get past the superficial answer of I’m good when we aren’t doing good.
Let us pursue real, authentic relationships with people and get away from the surface level fellowship.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this. What is your friendship love language? What is something that someone has done for you that made you feel incredibly loved?
Thank you all so much for reading and I’m so excited about this blog series! I hope you are too!
With Grace,
A version of this post about making friends originally appeared at sparrowsandlily.com, published with permission.
