ALL of us as a community have to get to this point if we want to avoid our students feeling shamed, isolated, or worthless.
We had a waiting list this year for culinary at NHHS and construction technology at Estancia–this is a telling statistic. We consistently have students lost in our administrative/ counseling offices, and in classrooms whom we tell, “College is not for everyone, but look at what you can do.” We invite military recruiters to our campuses so they can work with students on valued and significant careers in the armed forces. Please know there is so much behind the scenes we do to diffuse this environment, but we can not do it alone anymore.
A very intuitive parent gave an analogy recently that hit home: “Our kids are not teacups; they are meant to be bumped around from time to time.”
It is during these bumpy times that we can applaud a “C”, applaud a student going to the military or junior college, properly support failure with introspection not blame, take an 89.5% as a B+ in stride, or applaud a student in one of our CTE pathways. My British father would always quip, “it is the sum of our experiences that should always outweigh the sum of our bank accounts.”
We must reach the point where, if our sons and daughters don’t live a perfect young adult experience, it is not the end of the world…it is simply an opportunity to lift the sails and head in another direction.
I sound like a broken record. If this offends anyone I am sorry.
We need to start now.
Please share
Moms and dads, if we value our kids for WHO they were created to be, if we value the child we were given and not the child we wanted, if we value teen mental health in our children and their peers, then we must stop contributing to this terrible pressure to be the best of the best.
We simply need to expect and encourage our kids to do their best. To push themselves to use all their abilities wisely. To, as the Bible says, work at it with ALL of their hearts.
And then we need to be okay with it if their best isn’t a perfect score on the ACT and a 5.5 out of 4.0 GPA.
We need to be ok and even happy if they choose trade school over a four-year college. We need to not give a CRAP what the neighbors think.
We need to put teen mental health above our parental reputations.
And we need to start now. It’s August, moms and dads. Let’s make sure our kids know where we stand on this before they go back to school. Let’s make sure we know that doing their best, and not someone else’s best, is what we expect, appreciate, and admire. And that we love them so so much, no matter what.
