The Definitive List of Things Your Kids Will Survive If…


How many of us second guess our parenting every day? How many of us go to bed feeling guilty or inadequate? The madness has got to stop!

I talk to awesome parents every day who think they are failing at this whole parenting thing. They aren’t – and you aren’t either. We are all doing the best we can.

So, as a homage to my fellow doubters, I am here to remind you that –

Your kids will survive your parenting even if…

1.  They are illiterate in baby sign language

2.  Their baby food doesn’t come puréed from a blender

3.  Their milk is the powdered variety

4.  Their diapers are disposable

5.  They are not reading by three

6.  They go to bed dirty

7.  They know how to operate a remote, but can barely walk

8.  They eat a treat before a meal

9.   You lose your cool

10. They don’t go to a mommy and me class

11.  They know your mommy is pissed face

12.  The park isn’t their second home

13.  They aren’t speaking a foreign language by five

14.  They haven’t experienced the happiest place on earth

15.  You don’t constantly set up play dates

16.  They have to clean up their toys

17.  They don’t have a cellphone by six

18.  Your house looks like a bomb went off

19.  Your meals sometimes come with microwavable directions

20.  Your child calls chicken nuggets, McNuggets

21.  They know you have bad days too

22.  They are told no – often

23.  They think a pad is something they download apps on

24.  They don’t RSVP “yes” to every birthday invitation

25.  There are consequences for their actions

26.  You are not their constant playmate

27.  They know you make mistakes too

28.  They hate vegetables and (so do you)

29.  They don’t have a birthday party that costs as much as a   car payment

30.  They have their own profile on Netflix

31.  They aren’t solving algebraic equations by eight

32.  They never score a goal or a touchdown

33.  They don’t get everything on their Christmas list

34.  They hate homework and (secretly so do you)

35.  They learn the word “laundry machine”

36.  They are deprived of $100 shoes

37.  They understand that you are not a waitress, maid or slave

38.  They are not scheduled with activities from dawn to dusk

39.  You work and can’t volunteer in their class

40.  You think the idea of being friends with other moms sounds like torture

41.  You are not their best friend

42.  They don’t think you are cool

43.  They don’t have wheels at sixteen

44.  They don’t have a sweet sixteen party that rivals a wedding

45.  They don’t know that jeans and purses can cost over $100 dollars

46.  They have an earlier curfew than all of their friends

47.  They think manicure is horse poop

48.  You know the password to all their devices

49.  They have to put two pieces of bread together and make their own lunch

50.  You are human too

Do you have a #51 – let’s get a list going. Leave your #51 in the comments below.

Do you know someone who needs to read a list like this to remind them their parenting is fine? Send them some SOS love and share this article with them.

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Natasha Daniels
Natasha Daniels is a child therapist and author who finds the joy and humor in parenting. She is the author of How to Parent your Anxious Toddler and Anxiety Sucks! A Teen Survival Guide. When she is not working in her private practice, she is hiding in her closet trying to give advice to other moms on her website . She can be found on FacebookTwitterInstagram and Pinterest.