10 Ways to Make a Huge Difference in Your Marriage Using Only Your Words

Yeah… that’s my man! We’ve been married for just 6 months shy of 30 years.


Today, I want to brag on my guy a bit. Okay… a lot! I love him like crazy for oh-so many reasons, but other than his love for God and passion for ministering to people, he prays some crazy, audacious prayers for me to become who I was created to be and then he helps me fulfill God’s call on my life. AND… he loves me. AND… he gets me. AND… he makes me laugh. AND… he works hard at being a good husband. And… a million other reasons that won’t fit in this post.

I know it sounds like he’s perfect and that our marriage is just one big bundle of bliss, but he’s not and it’s not. Far from it.

Today, I can honestly say my hubby is my best friend. But it hasn’t always been this way. We’ve trudged through some deep valleys where love was a choice of the will and not that warm, fuzzy, romantic feeling we often think love is supposed to be.

We’ve waged war with one another far too often, and we’ve both very selfishly tried to make our marriage all about us.

But one thing we’ve both been committed to do from day one is to keep our personal battles personal. We may have had a select few people we would share our hearts with (and that’s very important), but we didn’t air our dirty laundry.

The Bible says a wise woman builds her house and a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. (Proverbs 14:1)

The words we say have the power to either help build our husbands and build our marriages or they can tear them both down. Not just the words we say to our spouse, but the ones we say about him.

The same is true with the words we choose NOT to say.

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Recently, I was talking with a friend about an argument between a husband and wife being played out on Facebook for the whole world-wide-web to see. What should have remained personal became not only a very public argument but included thousands of their closest Facebook friends, as well.

That sweet lady didn’t realize that each stroke of the computer keyboard was dealing a terrible blow to the foundation of her marriage. She was litterally pulling down her her marriage and her man with her hands.

Wives damage their own marriages when they refrain from taming their tongues.

Today I want to share 10 tips for taming your tongue and making the most of your marriage:

1. NEVER argue in public.

2. NEVER talk badly about your husband to others.

3. AVOID conversations where women are talking about their husbands negatively.

4. NEVER reveal personal behavior traits.

5. NEVER reveal information about your sexual relationship with your husband.

6. NEVER undermine him in front of others.

7. ALWAYS look for opportunities to say something positive to him.

8. ALWAYS look for opportunities to brag on your man in front of others.

9. NEVER try to get others involved in your arguments.

10. ALWAYS be your husband’s biggest cheerleader, gracious help-mate and strongest advocate.

Have you ever struggled with watching your words in relationship to your marriage? What would you add to this list?

This article originally appeared at the Mom Initiative.

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Stephanie Shott
Stephanie Shott  is a pastor’s wife, mom of two adult sons, abuela (grandma), writer, speaker and Bible teacher who loves Jesus like crazy and loves ministering to the hearts of women. She founded The M.O.M. Initiative with a passion to help the body of Christ make mentoring missional.