I’ve been married for close to 16 years, and just when I think I’ve got this whole marriage thing figured out, some new challenge comes along. But since we took vows before each other and GOD, we’re in it to win it. I do enjoy a little marriage humor, as wedded bliss comes not only with it’s ups and downs, but for me anyway, with a whole lot of laughs as well. I recently took to Twitter to find some super-funny marriage tweets, and the people of Twitter did NOT disappoint! Here are 10 that in some cases literally made me spit out my coffee. These people are winning at humor, and probably matrimony, too
We’re assembling a crib from Ikea… Which option on their toll free number gets you a marriage counselor?
— Mommy Honesty (@momesty) March 11, 2015
[sitting at a table] Wife: writes number on paper and slides it across. Me: crosses out and writes new number *thermostat negotiations* — Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 12, 2015
[out in public]
Me: A kid is crying.
Wife: It’s not one of ours.
[we fist bump]
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 13, 2015
Me on deathbed: One last thing before I die? Husband: *in tears* Yes? M: Change the toilet paper roll H: *pulls out my breathing tubes* — Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) January 22, 2016
I’d like to publicly thank my husband @daxshepard1 for changing half the diapers in our house. I hope he changes all of mine one day…
— Kristen Bell (@IMKristenBell) October 29, 2015
My wife got a Fitbit for the sole purpose of proving how many times I wake her up in the middle of the night by snoring.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 20, 2016
My husband still talks about that one time he loaded the dishwasher correctly like it’s going to get our kids into Harvard.
— momma unfiltered (@MommaUnfiltered) July 26, 2015
I’m at the level of marriage where “getting lucky tonight” just means we’re having tacos for dinner. — mark (@TheCatWhisprer) July 27, 2015
I had to LOL at #3 especially because that is MY LIFE! 16 years and we just can’t get that thermostat right. I wear a lot of layers in the winter and a cardigan indoors in the summer. And he still sweats. #marriage Which one was your favorite?