10 Things a Depressed Woman Needs to Hear From Her Friends

I have been talking about depression for a few weeks. If you missed it, here are some posts in the series Hope For the Depressed Woman that you might like:

10 Things NOT to Say to a Depressed Woman
Week 1: Slow Down
Week 2: Breaking the Silence
Week 3: Medication or Meditation
Week 4: Triggers and Tips for Success
Week 5: Running Away Sounds Divine

1. I’m here.

Say it tenderly and mean it. Then be there.

2. I care about you.

Say it and show it.

3. I love you.

Mean it and act on it.

4. I am here if you want or need to talk.

Let her talk and listen intently. Do not try to “fix” her, just listen.

5. You are beautiful.

Depression can make you feel ugly in more ways than one. Let her know she is still beautiful in your eyes.

6. You are a good ______. (fill in the blank)

Failure will resound in her mind as she falls deeper into depression. Remind her of her strengths.

7. It is okay if you need to rest.

Tell her and then provide an opportunity for her to get the rest she desperately needs. Do not just offer to watch the kids and make dinner. Plan a time and tell her you are dropping off dinner and taking the kids out. If you simply offer to help, she probably will not take you up on the offer.

8. Come out with me.

Take her out. She needs to be around people although she might say she does not want to be around anyone.

9. I have something for you.

Give her a thoughtful gift. A simple act of kindness says a lot to a depressed soul.

10. I am praying for you.

Do not just say, “I’m praying for you.” Put your arms around her and pray with her. She needs a strong spiritual support system that cares deeply about her and will not judge her, condemn her or give up on her.

Depression is difficult because it is so deceitful. A person deep in depression will convince themselves that everything someone says really meant something else. Lies will fill her mind until she will not take anything you say in the way it was meant to be heard.

So what do you do?

Be there. Hug her. Love her. Care for her. Be kind to her. Talk to her. Be gentle with her. Listen to her. Do not shut down on her. She needs you now more than ever. Pray for her. If she shuts down, continue to reach out and be there.

Depressed women do not need someone telling them to get a grip, they need a friend to walk with them through the valley.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Ephesians 4:29(KJV)

I am so thankful for a faithful God who carried me when I felt like I could not make it another day.

I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;
From where shall my help come?
My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1-2(NASB)

If you are struggling with depression, please seek help.

If you know someone who is depressed, it is not time to walk away, shut down or give up. Be there and pray fervently. God knows every detail. Whether it is medical, physical, emotional, spiritual or a combination of reasons, help and hope is accessible.

Share HOPE with someone you love! Be there.

I would love to hear what you would add to this list. Leave your thoughts in the comments below.

Love & Blessings,


Don’t forget, if this has been an encouragement to you, please LIKE, COMMENT and SHARE it with someone you love!

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Micah Maddox
Micah Maddox is married to her sparkly, blue-eyed, high school sweetheart, and they are raising three rambunctious, amazing kiddos. Her husband, Rob, is the Worship and Missions Pastor at Spotswood Baptist Church in Fredericksburg, Virginia. They have been in full-time ministry for over 10 years! When Micah is not tending to children, laundry, dishes or the next meal, she loves to write, decorate and chat with friends! Although small talk is great, she loves to dig deeper and discuss the stuff in life that keeps us up at night. If you are discouraged and need encouragement, visit Micah on her blog .