An Open Letter to My Porn-Addicted Dad

fomo-letter-to-dad

The writer of this letter is a 19-year-old girl who wishes to remain anonymous to protect her family. 

Dear Dad,

You promised.

You promised mom you would stand by her through better or for worse. What happened to that? To for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health? What kind of a covenant allows for a computer screen?

You promised to love her, despite her flaws. YOU got on one knee and gave HER a ring, YOU asked her, and she said yes. YOU were supposed to lead her to God, not away from Him.

You promised to uphold her; to dignify her. You swore the second you knelt down she was it forever, and you would spend every second of your life from that moment on to do your very best by her.

What happened?

What caused you to run from mom and to a two dimensional image? What joy, what intimacy came from that?

You promised.

You promised to lead this family with integrity. To have us watch you model a life of seeking after God.

You promised to show me what a man should be like. To tell me my worth, and to teach me to never settle. You were supposed to be my shining knight, my protector, my daddy.

What happened?

Why would you shatter my trust in men? What made you so desperate you wouldn’t consider my heart?

Daddy? if you’re reading this, your little girl wants you back. She is sick of watching her mom cry because she feels inadequate. Your little princess is tired of her tiara falling off, running from princes she’s scared will treat her the same.

You, her king, broke her. She no longer innocently trusts in the world—not all things are simply good as they once were. She doesn’t know if she can give her heart to anyone; she is afraid they will throw her aside for some Hollywood version of intimacy.

But she wants you to know- she forgives you. She is still hurt. But she is human too.

Dad, I forgive you. No it’s not OK what you did. It never will be. Our family will have to deal with the repercussions of your actions forever. But I forgive you—let’s deal with this together. Here’s the thing: there’s a giant plank in my eye too. Who am I to judge you? I will admit, I hated you for awhile. But God gently reminded me of my own sin (hating you being one of them). And if He can forgive ME—the least I can do is offer you that. It doesn’t change what you’ve done. But there is no condemnation here, only grace.

Just please come back to us—promise?

Love,
Your little girl


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Jenny Rapson
Jenny Rapson is a follower of Christ, a wife and mom of three from Ohio and a freelance writer and editor. You can find her at her blog, Mommin' It Up, or follow her on Twitter.