Dear Mothers of One Child:
I have seven.
As a mother of seven, I want to know why when a mom of many says to you, “Oh, you JUST have one?” you don’t PUNCH HER IN THE THROAT???
Can I just say? This is this most insulting comment one mother can say to another mother. Basically, you are saying… “That’s all you could muster?”
Let me start by apologizing for us. We are sleep deprived, sex deprived and barely able to function in society. However, I believe it is wrong to say “I am sorry but…” A sorry just needs to be a sorry. So on behalf of the overbred, over adoptive, and over the edge… I am just sorry.
Now, let me extend this sleep deprived gem to you and all that may grace this page. And actually, this goes out to all the moms of “JUST TWO” also.
JUST???? Whether your “JUST” is biological, foster, adopted, step, sideways, God-child, or whatever, a life is a life. If you nurture, feed, clothe, love, or minimally maintain a HUMAN BEING – you are a hero. You are contributing to greatness at full throttle awesomeness. Don’t you dare defend your one or two, make apologies, or explain.
If you must explain, take it to the mat.
“Well, he/she is so perfect and we didn’t want to mess with perfection.”
“We never recovered from the ecstasy of creation… (insert pity, look the mother up and down, sympathetically pat them) I am sure you wouldn’t understand.”
But do not apologize or give your insulter the… “Well, we wanted more but…”
You owe us nothing.
We are the rude ones.
It is none of our business how or why… You are a mother.
You are a wonder.
Your child is a marvel.
Furthermore, here are just a few only children that rocked it: Franklin Roosevelt, Frank Sinatra, Laura Bush, Robert De Niro, and Elvis Presley….
ELVIS!?!?!?! You could be raising the next Elvis. Truly, you will not have time to do much else if you are touring with the next Elvis.
Now then, mothers of many… I come to you and humbly say: I have made this tacky mistake. But, I am reformed!
We must stop saying this. Have you been in line at the grocery store and your mass of monkeys are climbing on you, the basket, the conveyer belt, the candy display, and someone brings you one of your rogue hooligans and says… “You know what causes this right?”
Okay. The statement “You just have one?” is the equivalent on the rude-o-meter.
Stay out of my womb.
None of ya business.
Don’t go there.
Stop saying it.
You go forth and multiply… do what you do. Encourage your fellow mommas. Play nice, “Just one” comment can bless or curse.
May your floors be sticky and your calling ordained. Love, Jami