Dear Girl Who Likes My Son: Here’s Some Friendly Advice

friendly advice

I’m sure you are a nice girl. You better be. I will admit, however, that watching you actively pursue my baby has made me hate you a little. You’re both only thirteen; what’s the rush? But if you insist on crushing on my kid, here’s some friendly advice.

1. Kissing up to me will not help your cause. When I was chaperoning the teen night at the pool, you bounded up to me and asked me for a hug. I had no clue who you were, but you pushed the issue and insisted that my son said it was okay. Truthfully, he was bewildered by your request. I was put off; I know brown-nosing when I see it. Instead of ingratiating yourself, you put yourself on my “watch out for that one” radar.

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2. Don’t be so aggressive. You may be the same age, but you are way ahead of my son in terms of comfort level with the opposite sex. When you text him, he texts you back not because he loves you, but because you texted him first. You will scare him off if you get too flirty.

3. Respect guy time. My kid has a great group of friends; they’ve been hanging together for years. Throw a girl into the mix and the dynamic completely changes. Instead of thinking you are interesting and witty, he will think you are a pain in the ass.

4. Ditch the drama. Stop with the “who do you like” texts and the whispering among your girlfriends. Eighth grade boys have no patience for she said/she said, and my son couldn’t care less about your friendship dramas. Use him as a pawn in one of your games, and he will run far and fast.

5. Don’t play prissy and weak. My kid has a strong-willed, independent mother and older sister. I’d like to think these are traits he admires in girls, so don’t pretend to be something you’re not. He can spot a fake, and if he can’t, his sister and parents can.

6. Back off. I know you are testing the dating waters. I know that my son is a nice kid who is fun to be around. So just enjoy his company and dial it down a bit.

So, Girl Who Likes My Son. I’ll close with one final piece of friendly advice, given as a former teenage girl and not as a mother. Don’t try so hard. Let my son get to know you as a friend, and you may just end up having a meaningful relationship.

Just wait a few years, please.

This article originally appeared at Kiss My List.


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Dana Hemelt
Dana’s first published work was a logic puzzle picked up by a game magazine in the early 1990s. Since then, her essays have appeared in the anthologies The Mother of All Meltdowns and The HerStories Project: Women Explore the Joy, Pain, and Power of Female Friendship. She lives in the suburbs with her husband and two teenagers, and blogs at Kiss my List. You can also connect with her on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest.