Dear Judgy McJudgy Pants (in casual cute capris) :
Yes I’m talking to you.
The mom watching the game across from me on the soccer field.
The woman sitting a row in front of me at the school play.
The momma sitting on the bleachers behind me at the basketball game.
You know who you are. You are the one who gave me a sideway glance because I’m on my phone texting or emailing when your little Johnny is shooting a free throw, please allow me the opportunity to explain.
Yes, I’m on my phone (first step is admission). I know I know. God forbid if I miss a soccer goal scored by the other team by some child I have never seen before while my child isn’t even in the game. Look I’m not liking statuses on Facebook, or tweeting 140 words of wisdom (at least not 99.5% of the time.) No, I’m working. Working my job. A job I created for myself because if I didn’t I would be working my 9a-5p clock in/clock out job that wouldn’t have even have allowed me to be present at the 2:15 school play. Just imagine the look you would be giving my “No Show” self then.
Look, I read the Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection. Heck I even created a book discussion guide for my Executive Momma Group. I agree wholeheartedly with a lot of Rachel Macy Stafford observations and new values in life. I’m guilty of missing sunset moments, those magical nuggets of time where joy and memories are created because you have the time and energy to enjoy and live just in the moment. A few of these moments I’m sure have flown by without my acknowledgement due to technology distractions, daily drudgery tasks, and overscheduling. I realize the cost of my distractions, and it really sucks.
But I’m also defending it. I’m there. I’m actually at the events that if I had the same job I had three years ago, I wouldn’t be able to go to. So yes, even though I can’t be 100% present in the moment 100% of the time, I still feel like I’m #winning because I. Am. There.
I may glance at my phone to make sure a client doesn’t need a quick reply to a question. I may shoot a work-related email while I’m thinking about it. I may even have to take a fast phone call. I consider this the cost of being a working mother. It can be hard sometimes, but I’m really trying my best to be a proficient professional in my field and be a good momma at the same time so please don’t judge. Pretty please with sugar on top.
There are times where I work double time to make sure I can be Hands-Free at certain other times. To travel without any wireless communications so that I can give my undivided attention to someone or something meaningful in my life. There are spaces in my calendar just for laughing, playing, and relaxing with my peeps. Times I make purposeful connections with people in person instead of just online.
I try every day to build my life around things that are really important to me. It just so happens that sometimes, just sometimes, it’s really important to me that I meet a work deadline at the same time that I am sitting at my child’s game. Please know it doesn’t mean I love my child any less, or I don’t absolutely love being at the event. It doesn’t mean that at all. At All.
So please as I attempt to make more time for the Hands Free Pledge, will you consider taking the I Won’t Judge the Momma On The Phone Pledge. Thank you much.
ps – To the Mommas with the Jobs who Can’t Escape for all the Inconvenient Timed Events (really a school play at 2:15 in the afternoon) – I admire your hardworking self. I feel your pain too. I got your back If you ever need me to snap some pics or tell you about your child at the play or at the all-day field trip I will (as long as I was able to hit the scheduling gods and was able to make it myself) Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for not being somewhere because of work, that includes yourself. You got this, there’s so many different ways to show love and support to your child. Do what you can. kk?
pps – Moms who are at Every Single Event and Never on your Phone: I admire you too. I think you’re pretty awesome. Sometimes I’m jealous, not in a I hate you kind of way, but in a wow you’re amazing kind of way.
Alright carry on.