Mom’s Tale of Two Diaper Changes Shows the Maddening Double Standard Placed on Moms and Dads

Aussie blogger and  mom of 4 Constance Hall has a knack for Facebook posts that go viral—because she’s not afraid to speak the TRUTH!  Most recently, her tale of how differently she and her husband were treated when they each changed a kid’s poopy diaper in a public place says SO VERY MUCH about the double standard our society puts on moms and dads! She says:

constance feat
Photo: Constance Hall/Facebook

“I had breakfast with a friend and of course Snow shat.

I went to the bathroom and there was no change table.

No dramas the restaurant was in a park, I went very far away, put her on the grass and changed her bum.

No big deal.

30 minutes later a women approached me and said, “I saw you changing your daughters nappy, could you please use the change table next time”

I said “there wasn’t one”

She said “there is, it’s in the disabled toilet and that’s around the other corner”

I said “cool, she’s probably not due for another shit for about 6 hours but I will act accordingly”
I felt like a loser. The world went on.

The following weekend we were at the park, all of us.
Rumi shat.. I told Bill that it was his turn, he put Rumi on the grass and changed his bum.

A group of women walked passed, one said.. “Aww good dad!!! That’s what we like to see, get in there”

Bill felt like a legend. The world went on.

I didn’t think much of it because I am used to it.
I am used to being scrutinised for jobs that my husband is praised for.
I am used to picking the kids up from school to judgmental looks about being late, while Bill is used to a red f***ing carpet and a 12 piece band praising him for his heroic appearance at school pick up.

That’s the way we as a society are, we place so much pressure on women to be perfect and selfless while putting low parenting expectations on men.

I am not saying quit the praise. I love seeing Bill get praised for the things he does for our kids.
He is a good dad, why not celebrate him.
But let’s praise each other too, let’s see a women talking on the phone while pushing her pram and think ‘wow, she chose not to stay at home bidding on eBay smashing straight vodka. She chose to come to the park and be a magnificent mum’

Celebrations, high fives or just a complaint for all Queens today. Because Queening deserves a standing ovation.

Kindness puts a red carpet under every sh*tty arse and a 12 piece band at every late school drop off.

You just can’t see it ?”

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I have to agree with Constance on this one! My husband is a GREAT dad and he deserves praise for being a great dad. But people shouldn’t make a huge deal of him taking all three kids to the grocery store by himself when that’s something moms are just EXPECTED to do EVERY DAY. AM I right? Good parenting is good parenting, regardless of the parent’s gender!

Thanks so Hall for pointing out this glaring injustice. Her post has been shared over 5,000 times, and to me, it’s easy to see why.

This is a great reminder to encourage ALL parents in public when they are rockin’ out this parenting gig!


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Jenny Rapson
Jenny Rapson is a follower of Christ, a wife and mom of three from Ohio and a freelance writer and editor. You can find her at her blog, Mommin' It Up, or follow her on Twitter.