To The First Time Kindergarten Mom

Kindergarten

To the first time kindergarten mom,

It’s your child’s first day of school. You didn’t think this day would ever come and now that it’s here you don’t feel ready.

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Letting go is hard. The world can be a dangerous place. People can be cruel. Sending a child out into the world and having to trust people you hardly know to take care of him is scary. It leaves you feeling raw and vulnerable.

Today, as your child waves goodbye and tears begin to trickle down your face as you drive away, I want you to stop for a minute. Stop and look up into the rear view mirror. I want you to meet my hero. 

You, my precious mommy friend, are my hero. 

From the moment you first learned of your child, your life was no longer yours. You weren’t sure if you’d ever be ready, but he came. And the moment you saw him you were ready.

Ready to be swept away by a deeper love than any you had ever known.  

Ready to give all of yourself to this tiny miracle resting perfectly in your arms. 

Ready to feel your heart explode out of your chest. 

Ready to experience life in a whole new dimension. 

You were ready, even thought you felt like you did everything wrong. You didn’t. You did everything right.

You nursed him, you burped him, you changed him, you fed him. You held him, you snuggled him, you sang to him. You laughed with him.

You cheered him on as he learned to crawl.

You held his hand as he took his first steps.

You were there, teaching him, guiding him, leading him.

You showed him what it looks like to love unconditionally. You taught him to be kind. Your presence conditioned him to trust. You helped him grow.

You weren’t sure you’d be ready then and you aren’t sure you’re ready now. But you are the reason he’s ready. 

You built his confidence. You gave him wings. You’re letting him fly.

I’m not going to tell you not to worry. You are going to worry. A LOT. You might worry so much you cry. And that’s okay. It’s your baby out there. Your heart is walking around outside your body. You might need to cry.

It’s okay to feel. 

You are going to worry about his little heart. You know that it might get broken. You know how hard it is to fit in. You know that kids can be mean. You can’t protect him from the world.

But you can hold him when he gets home. You are his safety net. You are there to catch him when he falls. You are his mama.

And you did it, mama! You are the one who brought him to this place. You gave him the best possible starting point. You laid his foundation. You are the reason he’s ready to soar.

And you’re doing it. You’re letting him soar. 

You, my precious mommy friend, are my hero. You are doing the hardest thing a mother will ever do. You are letting go.

Thank you for showing me what brave looks like. 

I’m not there yet. I still have one more year. But next year at this time, I’ll remember you. You will help me let go.

And next year, I will get to be somebody else’s hero.

***

This post originally appeared at Feelings and Faith.


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Christine Suhan
Christine Suhan is a wife, stay at home mother to three wild toddler boys, and writer/creator at www.feelingsandfaith.net. She has a master's degree in marriage and family therapy and enjoys helping people through openly and honestly sharing her journey of life, recovery, mental illness, marriage, parenting, and more. You can also find her on her Facebook page.