Funny dad James Breakwell, better known as Exploding Unicorn on Twitter, is the proud dad of four daughters. He’s also the hysterically FUNNY dad of four daughters, and thanks to their witty exchanges, he’s amassed a huge following on Twitter, where he posts hysterical snippets of his conversations with his girls and photos of their antics, like this one:
No DNA test needed.
I’m sure she’s mine. pic.twitter.com/C1FntjdRUE
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 13, 2015
I mean, seriously! I snort-laughed at that one! Here are some more of my favorite tweets from @XplodingUnicorn and his 4 lovelies!
On life goals…
3-year-old daughter: Will I have a baby in my belly someday?
Me: If you want to.
3: No thanks. That’s where I put my candy.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 5, 2016
Me: Who ate all the cookies?
Me: I didn’t see them.
5-year-old: No one ever does.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 6, 2015
On lessons from Star Wars…
Me: You can’t like Kylo Ren. He killed his dad.
5-year-old: Maybe he deserved it.
I’m never sleeping again.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 11, 2016
On personal hygiene…
5-year-old daughter: Why does Mom wear makeup?
Me: To look pretty.
5: But she’s already pretty.
5: Dad, you should wear makeup.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 19, 2015
On the trappings of romance…
[watching a guy on TV do CPR]
5-year-old daughter: Why is he kissing her?
Me: He's not. He's saving her life.
5: I'd rather die.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 23, 2016
And finally, on the BIG question of eternity…
4-year-old: What happens when you die?
Me: You go to heaven.
4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 2, 2014
This family cracks me UP! Which one was your favorite? For more hilariousness, follow @XplodingUnicorn on Twitter!