How Making Your Bed Can Save Your Marriage

On Thursday, I changed the sheets on our bed. All of the sudden, these words formed in my head:

Lord, let the thread count of our sheets never matter more than the threads of our hearts.

(Are you laughing yet? Because I was like, “What was that, Lord?”)

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But I just went with it and started praying other things as I tucked sheets and pulled up the duvet cover:

Lord, let this marriage bed never be defiled.

Lord, let us enjoy each other fully. (Okay, I really said, Please let the sex continue to be good.)

Lord, let us be a source of comfort to one another.

Let our rest be deep.

Let me not take for granted this gift that lays next to me almost every night.

Let us not be afraid to reach out to each other in the darkness because of our own pride or anger or frustration.

We spend so much time laying in this space, but I’ve never once thought about regularly praying over it. I’ve prayed during prayer walks for our neighborhood and prayed over my house. I’ve certainly prayed over retreat spaces and over other people’s homes and the kids schools.

But never over our marriage bed.

As someone who has had her marriage under attack before (hello, porn) and who understands the amazing call God has for marriages, we need prayer in all the spaces where we live these marriages out.

So what could God do as we religiously change sheets if we submitted that time to Him, to ask Him to cover the bed with His amazing protection and the richness of His love?

It might be crazy.

But it might be revitalizing, too.

What do you have to lose? What do you have to gain?

Here are just a few reasons why praying over your marriage bed might bear good fruit:

1. Getting good sleep is pretty crucial to our marriage because without it we are both much more susceptible to being grumpy, short-tempered, and quick to take things way too personally.

2. My husband is a recovering porn addict, so there have been times when he has sought sexual release/fantasy from someone (even though it was through a computer screen) other than me. I want to pray for God’s protection over our sex life, that we would both treat sex as God intended it to be.

3. Sometimes we do go to bed angry because Craig is an internal processor and has to think about things before we can resolve them. Sometimes arguments come at inopportune times. We need to ask God to work in our hearts and minds while we sleep so that we are ready to work towards resolution when the morning comes.

4. It’s easy to get used to your spouse sleeping next to you, but I don’t want to take this for granted. I need God to continually remind me that Craig is a gift to be celebrated and thankful for, someone I can look to for comfort and compassion.

5. I think it can be hard to make time and energy for sex, especially when the stress of this life gets to me (and Craig). I need God to remind me that sex is something He created for spouses to enjoy and that it is worth investing time and effort. It’s designed to be a reminder of those wedding vows we said so many years ago, to remember how God took two broken people and made something beautiful.

6. Maybe it will decrease snoring? (Just kidding. Kind of.)

So, I’m committing to praying over our bed every time I change the sheets on our bed. Marriage is hard work and we can use all the help we can get (amen?). I’m looking forward to seeing what God does.

What do you think? Crazy idea? Have you ever prayed over your bed? What happened?


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Jennifer Ferguson
Jen Ferguson is passionate about Jesus, her husband, and her two girls. She is the facilitator of The Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood and loves to encourage women to bring their true selves out into the light.  She is the co-author of Pure Eyes, Clean Heart: A Couple's Journey to Freedom from Pornography.  You can find out more about the book by visiting their new site, www.PureEyesCleanHeart.com.