How to Infuse Your Marriage With Mercy (Even When It’s Not Your Fault)

your marriage

Some of the reasons your marriage is hard right now could be your fault. But maybe it is mostly his. Because God is a merciful Father, Healer and Provider, it really doesn’t matter who is to blame.

Your local hospital has patients who did nothing to deserve the pain they are in. There are also patients who brought the disease on by drinking, smoking and other choices. Regardless of the cause, they all get treatment.

Your supernatural God offers fresh doses of mercy to each of you. He is literally chasing you with the gifts of His goodness and mercy each day of your married life. Will you accept it?

You’ve taken aspirin believing it will ease the pain. You burned great smelling candles trusting that it will affect the mood in your home. Why not take a chance on accepting this mercy from God and paying it forward to your spouse?

This God had you in mind when He sent His son to eat with sinners. Zacchaeus was a scoundrel. But Jesus ate with him and it transformed this scheming tax collector into someone who not only repaid his debts but gave back four times what he had stolen.

As we imitate Christ in choosing to love the one who has failed us and hurt us, we miraculously find ourselves richer and happier. The most righteous Jesus certainly expected righteousness from little Zacchaeus. He didn’t get it. Instead He gave it. And look at the outcome—the benefit to those who had been wronged.

Jesus was sent to cover our sins. The outcome for us is an abundant life with every spiritual blessing we never knew to ask for. As a “little Christ” in our marriage, we can cover the multitude of sins in front of us with God’s mercy. His Holy Spirit, infixed in us, is our mercy coach. He is calling us to surrender our grand ideas for a better life and allow Him to use us as vessels of His mercy.

Do you believe this is true in God’s economy?

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:38

Do you trust God will give to you what you choose to give to your husband? Maybe you don’t feel you can trust your husband yet, but what about the God who created Him? Can you trust the God who holds the world together to bless your obedience?

One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 61:7 where God explains just how generous He is.

“Instead of your shame, you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land and everlasting joy will be yours.”

Sixteen years into my second marriage, I recognize the abundance God has given me. Our marriage is beautiful. It isn’t perfect, but I have so much more than I dared to dream was possible. I don’t deserve it. I have given God plenty of reasons to withhold honor.

I chose to end my first marriage without waiting on God—without believing He could help us. I almost repeated that same mistake in this marriage. But God helped me reach for his goodness and mercy. He sent His word and He healed me. He’s given me beauty when ashes would have been a just reward.

This generous God has given me the opportunity to inspire new brides to trust in God as their hope for a beautiful marriage. My double portion is a book that exposes the enemy’s schemes in marriage while exalting Jesus as the marriage Savior. Prayers for New Brides: Putting on God’s Armor After the Wedding Dress is God’s way of allowing me, a woman with no biological children, to be a spiritual mother to more people than my mind can comprehend.

You can never outgive God, friend. When you choose to pour mercy into your marriage, God will respond to you with the same generosity and maybe even a double portion.

Start your marriage mercy infusion with some simple prayer requests to the Merciful One.

Father, I want to be a vessel of Your steady flow of mercy to my husband. Psalm 86:5

Lord, Your love endures forever and I want to my love for ____ to endure all things. Psalm 100:5, 1 Corinthians 13:7

Lord, please forgive me for requiring mercy from you and demanding perfection from my husband. Mark 12:31
Continue to arm your marriage by praying God’s Word. It is the way, the truth and the life for your marriage.


Prayer is such a powerful tool to heal a broken marriage! No matter what stage of marriage you’re in, praying for your spouse is a MUST. Not sure what to pray for, or how to pray? To get you started, you can click here for a free download of Marriage Armor for the #PrayingBride—Seeing Him Through God’s Eyes. It’s a sample chapter of Jennifer’s new book, Prayers for New Brides: Putting on God’s Armor After the Wedding Dress.

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Jennifer White
Jennifer O. White is the author of Prayers for New Brides: Putting on God's Armor After the Wedding Dress. You can join Jennifer in an online Bible study for brides here. She is a natural encourager offering hope from the truths from God’s Word at her blog, Prayerfully Speaking. With every blog post, Jennifer is exalting the One true God who can empower us to do more than we can ask or imagine - Ephesians 3:20. For more from Jennifer, you can follow her at her blog, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.