“I Am Not Ashamed”—Mom Fights Stigma With Heartbreaking Viral Tattoo

As any new mom can imagine, 31-year-old Joan Bremer was ecstatic to find out she was expecting her first child. However, just seven weeks into her pregnancy, she started to bleed and get excruciating cramps.

After she went in for a check-up with her doctor, she got horrific news—she was having a miscarriage.

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It was her worst nightmare come true. Joan and her husband were devastated.


Kevin Brock Photography

Though she only got to carry her precious baby in her womb for two short months, Joan knew it was an experience that would mark her forever.

“It took about three days to recover, and during that time I thought of getting a tattoo to mark this life experience,” Bremer said in an interview with TODAY Parents. “For me, all the tattoos I have signify something, and even though this was a painful time, I still wanted to be able to remember it in some way.”

She began to search the Internet for the perfect image to represent the loss of her baby, and when she came across this, she knew it was the one.

Miscarriage tattoo

Joan Bremer

“Losing a baby, even if it’s early in pregnancy, is just so difficult,” Bremer shared. “For me, it was healing to be able to speak about it. I know there is a certain silence about miscarriages and pregnancy losses, but I am not ashamed that this happened to me. That was one of my motivations for getting the tattoo in the first place—I really think it’s healing to be able to talk about it.”


Kevin Brock Photography

Joan doesn’t plan on giving up on having children, and she’s even thought about how she will modify the tattoo after her next pregnancy.

“If we are able to carry a baby to term and have a healthy child, I will add a rainbow baby to this design since ‘rainbow babies’ are babies that are conceived after a loss, just like how something beautiful can come after a storm,” she said. “If I end up having a second miscarriage, I will most likely add another heart to this design.”
[epiphany]
Since she posted the captivating image on Imgur, comments of support and empathy have flooded in from other moms who have gone through the same experience.

“And I got this to remember the baby that wasn’t meant to be,” Bremer shared in the caption along with the picture.

Her viral tattoo has struck a chord with thousands of women, and many of them have shared their own stories and miscarriage tattoos in response.

Here are a few other tattoos that mamas across the Internet have shared in memory of their sweet babies that were never meant to be…

mis4

mis5

mis3

mis2

mis1

Joan certainly has inspired many through her pain, and she hopes to continue sharing her story so that others may know they are not alone.

“It happened to us, and it’s happened to countless other people,” she said. “I want to be able to share and talk about it, and in talking about it move on from the pain and disappointment.”

Partner with Joan in ‘breaking the silence’ by sharing her powerful story.


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