Yes. I saw it. I saw it more clearly than I ever had before.
My daughter Natalie and I share the same hands.
I stopped to think about all the times she’s reached for my hand over the past few years—
the times she told me things she didn’t tell anyone else
the times she’s chosen me to sit with her in her pain
the times she’s invited me to celebrate her triumphs
the times she’s confided her loftiest dreams and highest aspirations
Because I’ve spent the past eight years of Natalie’s life no longer hiding who I am, Natalie knows me, and I know her. But most importantly, she knows life is not about living perfectly; it’s about living love and showing up, bravely, boldly, flawed, and full of hope.
It all started with an honest confession and an outlet for the pain.
The truth is not the end; the truth is the beginning.
My friends, perhaps you have been misled to believe perfect parenting is required to raise capable, compassionate, and resilient adults. What I’ve discovered in my home and classrooms across the country is that love, acceptance, room to breathe, and permission to stumble are the elements that help young people thrive.
Humanness – that’s what our kids need from us.
Set down the expectations.
Take off the mask.
Pick up a pencil or a paintbrush.
Dust off the old guitar, throw on your running shoes.
Roll out some dough … work out your pain in a way that suits you best.
How you love yourself through missteps and mistakes will likely be the way your children love themselves through missteps and mistakes.
How you collect yourself and move forward in courage and love will likely be the way your children move forward in courage and love.
Give yourself an opening and invite your humanness forth.
If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for the ones you love.
You share the same hands.
Use them to live love.
And fill the space in between.
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Rachel Macy Stafford is a NYT bestselling author and founder of www.handsfreemama.com. In her newest book, LIVE LOVE NOW, Rachel does what she does best: she lovingly encourages, guides, and challenges us to be better than we’ve been. Through honest storytelling and small steps, Rachel shows us that simple changes yield positive results. LIVE LOVE NOW equips 21st century parents with tools for 21st century parenting that have the power to transform your home and heart into a healthier, happier place. Join Rachel at The Hands Free Revolution for more inspiration and encouragement.
