Dear Woman Who’s Waiting For a Baby: You’re Doing a Good Job, Too

I love mommy blogs. Funny for a non-mom like me to say that, but it’s true. I think I particularly like the blogs reminding moms they’re doing a good job. The ones that encourage moms to stop worrying so much about losing the baby weight. The ones that remind moms to be more concerned about making memories with their kids than the mess their kids are making in the process. The ones that let moms know it’s okay to make mistakes (because everyone does) and it’s okay to think you’re messing your kids up (because everyone thinks that). The ones that say, “Hey, moms. You’re doing a good job.”

Yes, I love those messages. But, I’m here today with a message for all the non-moms out there. You’re doing a good job too. Whether you are not at the having kids stage in your life yet. Whether you have struggled with infertility or miscarriages. Whether you are waiting for that special child to be placed in your ever ready home. Whether having kids is in the future for you at all (by choice or circumstance). You’re doing a good job too.

waiting woman

You’re doing a good job of loving the kids around you. The kids in your extended family. The kids in your church nursery. The kids in your neighborhood. You love them and they love you. You’re a good role model, and someone they can count on. You participate in their fundraisers and remember them on special occasions. Yes, you’re doing a good job.

You’re doing a good job with the time you have without kids. Whether it’s working overtime to pay off debt or volunteering in the community or spending extra time with a friend in need. Many moms do these things too and should be applauded, but I think you non-moms should be applauded too. It’s still a sacrifice when the “to do” list is every growing and never ending. Yes, you’re doing a good job.

You’re doing a good job being patient and trusting in this time of waiting. Maybe you’ll have kids. Maybe you won’t. But you are hanging in there. Some days, some moments, are more difficult than others, but you’re making it. Maybe even thriving despite it. You don’t know what the future holds, but you know who holds the future. And you patiently wait and trust. Yes, you’re doing a good job.

Moms need encouragement. Non-moms need encouragement too. And I just want you to know, you’re doing a good job too.


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Dr. Laurel Shaler
Dr. Laurel Shaler is the author of author of "Reclaiming Sanity: Hope and Healing, for Trauma, Stress, and Overwhelming Life Events. She is a Licensed Social Worker and National Certified Counselor employed by Liberty University as a professor and department chair in the Department of Counselor Education and Family Studies. She is a former psychotherapist with the Department of Veterans Affairs, where she specialized in the treatment of trauma and anger. Dr. Shaler loves the Lord and seeks to help people at the intersection of faith, culture, and emotional well-being. You can learn more at her website or find her on Facebook or Twitter @DrLaurelShaler.