This Mom Breaks Down the Not-So-Fun Parts of Pregnancy and It’s Totally Hilarious

We know that any minor inconveniences that come with pregnancy are worth it. We’re thankful we have healthy children. And we really do love our kids.

However.

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If you’ve been pregnant, you know that even though the “logical you” knows that the morning sickness and cankles will pass (eventually), it really doesn’t seem that way to “current you”—your enormously pregnant self. So we’ve made a list of just a few of the fun things that we encountered during our pregnancies. Or as we like to call them …

“Small Prices to Pay for a Miracle”

Swollen hands and feet: And by “swollen,” I mean approximately three to five times the normal size. I will never forget the nurse that asked me several hours after giving birth if my feet were still pregnant. Sure enough, they were.

Fat face: Mine was so bad, I can hardly stand to think about it.

Stretch marks: Everywhere!

Fatigue: I once worked in an office with just one other girl while we were both pregnant—one of us would be the look-out person while the other one napped on the conference room table. Man, that was a sweet gig.

Irrationality/emotional instability: Our husbands will back us up on this one.

Charley horses: I have a really unfortunate charley horse experience that is too long to tell here, but would be the good subject of a future blog entry.

Projectile nosebleeds: What does pregnancy have to do with nosebleeds? Oh that’s right, NOTHING is sacred!

Dr. putting-her-hand-up-to-her-elbow-in-your-hoo-ha: Self-explanatory!

Hips popping out of wherever they’re supposed to be: 
No, no, I’m good, I’m just gonna stand here until my anatomy corrects itself and I can walk again.

Being nine months pregnant for TWO MONTHS: DO the math, people!

Puking:
It’s not always just in the morning folks! Or reserved for the first trimester. It might be that way for the first pregnancy, but for the second one, you will puke 24/7 for 20 whole weeks—guarnateed!

Inability to roll over in bed: Having to wake your husband at 3:23 a.m. to roll you over is NOT good for your marriage.

Tailbone (aka BUTT) pain: Don’t need to elaborate there, either.

Baby squishing your lungs: CAN’T FREAKING BREATHE!

Heartburn: All the time, regardless of what I ate or didn’t eat. It was awful. (And for those familiar with this particular old-wives tale, my baby had a ton of hair.)

25-??? extra pounds: Those question marks should really be multiplication symbols.

So that’s what we could come up with … but we know there’s a lot we’re missing! What “small prices” did YOU have to pay for your miracle???


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Emily Berry
Emily Berry is a working mom of two from southwest Ohio. When not shuttling her kids to and from swim practice in her tricked out minivan, she blogs about life and motherhood at Mommin' It Up.