She’s Happy, Healthy, Perfect: Please Don’t Comment on My Daughter’s Size


“She’s so big. How much does she weigh?”

This was a question my daughter’s nanny asked today.

Yes, my little girl was in ear’s reach. Right there. Her baby browns looking up at mine, while her arms looped my legs, giving them a hug.

She is two and still has rolls on her arms. I heard they go away once babies start walking, but with my daughter, they stayed put. She has three solid rolls. There used to be six but now we are down to three.

This nanny, didn’t say it maliciously. We were just chit-chatting because we were both early and then…this question.

Ever since then it has been on my mind.

“She’s so big. How much does she weigh?”

Here is what I am asking.

Please, please, please, never comment on my child or anyone else’s child’s weight, and especially don’t do it in front of the child. My child is two, and I don’t think she understood, but she has two ears, that work very well. She picks up on a lot, and the only way I can get a good assessment on what she is picking up is when it is repeated. I don’t need this repeated, ever.

All she needs to think is that she is “so big” when she is so young, vulnerable, and little.

My answer: she is healthy, she is happy and she is perfect. Her weight is not her worth.

And the next time you think it’s okay to comment on anyone’s size. It’s not. So, don’t.

And believe it or not, I will miss those rolls when they go away. I will show her pictures and tell her how beautiful she was … because she is.


This article originally appeared on Facebook, published with permission. 

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Danielle Sherman-Lazar
Dani Sherman-Lazar is an eating disorder advocate, Vice President of a transportation company, and a mother to two daughters. Follow her on her blog Living a Full Life After ED and like it on Facebook. Her book Living FULL: Winning My Battle with Eating Disorders is available for pre-order on Amazon.