Survival of the Middle Child: Secret Strategies of a Professional Little Sister

I am the oldest of my family, so I can’t pretend to know what goes on inside the heads of younger siblings. Now I have three girls, the youngest being only 10 months old, so she really hasn’t had a chance to shake up the dynamic of sisterhood happening in our house yet. My middle child however, makes up for the baby’s lack of little sister duties in spades. If being a little sister was somehow a job, I’m convinced that my middle child would be the highest paid one because she is that good at it. I’m always getting on my oldest for whining so much, but if I’m being honest, I can’t entirely blame her because she has to deal with her piece of work little sister all day long. It’s a lot like watching a lion toy with a mouse before swallowing it whole. We have already explored how my second born wins at being a big sister. Let’s now delve into how she excels at the art of being a little sister.

Little Sister for the Win

Upon waking, the little sister observes her prey, the big sister, is still peacefully slumbering. She decides to pounce on her weak position, and wake her up by kicking her in the rear, causing her to wake with a scream. When the pack leader, Mom, comes into the room to dissolve the fight, the little sister quickly pushes all blame onto the big sister, claiming that she invaded her territory; the little sister was simply defending herself. The pack leader knows better however, and scolds them both. Their screams woke up the baby: there will be blood.

During the morning feeding, the little sister repeatedly steals the big sister’s cup of milk, refusing to drink out of her own cup because that does’t come with the entertainment of making the big sister scream in righteous fury. When the big sister has to abandon her cereal to use the potty, the little sister wastes no time in hurrying over to the big sister’s bowl and eating it. Not wanting her attack to go unnoticed, the little sister proudly announces her devious doings while the big sister is left helpless on the potty. All the big sister can do is scream at the injustice, completely ignoring the pack leader’s assurance of more cereal sitting in the box.

While the big sister is absorbed in her morning television, the little sister runs around with the energy of a wild hyena, making as much noise as possible. When told to quiet down, she then plays her favorite game, “Butt Face “. This involves the little sister stripping down to her birthday suit, walking directly into the big sister’s face butt first, and yelling, “BUTT FAAAACCCE!!!!” at the top of her lungs. Now the big sister will never know if the elements of harmony were powerful enough to defeat Discord.

Now that it is the little sister’s turn to pick a TV show, she picks Sofia the First , partly because she likes it, but mostly because the little sister knows that the big sister hates it. To add insult to injury, the little sister will only fully pay attention to it for 10 minutes before ignoring it to play with toys.

While the big sister and little sister are playing together, they both begin to color on the wall with crayons. When the pack leader catches them in the act and begins to yell at them, the little sister quickly passes the blame onto the big sister, claiming it was the big sister’s idea. Since the big sister is older and knows better, she shoulders the responsibility and gets reprimanded more harshly.

While at the feeding trough again for lunch, the little sister attempts to push the big sister out of her chair. When scolded, the little sister claims that the chair is broken and she was merely trying to save her beloved big sister. Upon inspection however, no defect can be found with the chair in question. Easy mistake to make, to be sure.

While the big sister takes her daily poop, the little sister goes in and out of the bathroom to turn the light on and off, slamming the door behind her each time. The little sister laughs manically at the big sister’s helpless screams from the dark bathroom.

The big sister finds a moment of peace and solitude in the pasture, drawing on her tablet. As if sensing the big sister’s vulnerability, the little sister begins quietly searching for her prey. Under the guise of wanting to observe her genius in painting, she slides into place next to the big sister. The big sister pauses briefly to debate on adding another flower and without a moment’s hesitation, the little sister strikes: she rips the tablet out of the big sister’s hands and sprints at record speed. The big sister screams in fury and runs after her, throwing her arms to try to catch the thief, but the little sister expertly dodges each assault with the grace of a lark. Eventually the little sister’s luck runs out and she gets cornered behind the couch. The big sister retrieves her stolen property, but howls even louder when she realizes that in the chaos of the chase, the little sister had hit the ‘home’ button, effectively losing her work of art.

In an attempt to calm herself from the most recent attack, the big sister settles down with a puzzle in a calm part of the wild. But she is only able to get through half of it before the little sister sneaks up and shuffles the completed part onto the floor, causing the pieces to separate again upon impact.

During the last feeding of the day, the little sister grabs the big sister’s toy and runs around the watering hole with it. This fills the big sister with such blind rage that she keeps her fork in her hand as she jumps up to chase after her. The pack leaders are caught completely off guard by this sudden burst of activity and hone in solely on the fork in the big sister’s hand and growl at her to return the weapon. Fueled by the injustice of getting in trouble after being attacked yet again, the big sister retreats to her room in a raging fit.

At last the time comes to put the young cubs to sleep. But the little sister must squeeze in one last attack while the big sister is cleaning her teeth. “SHE HITTED MEEEEEE!!!!!!!”, the big sister exclaims. The pack leader immediately scolds the young cub, asking why she lashed out at the big sister. “Tat wasna a hit! It was funny! I jus kidding”, the little sister explains. “That’s not funny; notice how no one is laughing?”, the pack leader calmly points out. But the little sister quips back,”Well, I am: HAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Finally the cubs are settled in their bed. Now the little sister lays down her sneakiest trick of all: she gives the big sister a giant bear hug, telling her sweetly that she is the best big sister ever and that she is going to share her birthday cake with her. The big sister hugs her back, and tells the little sister how she loves her all the way to the moon, the stars, the planets, and back.

So even though the little sister is a maniacal trickster who causes mayhem in the life of the big sister all day long, she is the ultimate evil genius in that she pairs it with a ferocious love, forcing her prey to willingly stay within her grasp.

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Amanda Jonsson
I am a wife, a mama, and a daughter of the most High King.  I love to bake, love all things 'Lord of the Rings' and 'Harry Potter', am a total book worm and theatre nerd.  I believe that life is full of adventures disguised as "ordinary"; you just have to think outside of the small box the world gives you in order to see it. So grab a cup of coffee (or wine, if it's been one of those days) and join me on my journey! I'd love for you to join me at my blog, Facebook page, and Instagram.