The Proverbs Wife You DON’T Want to Be

You don’t have to be a Christian woman very long before you start hearing about the Proverbs 31 wife. You know the one who plants and weaves and gets up before the sun so that her children and husband will rise and call her blessed. Do you hate her just a little? I call my day as a wife successful when nobody yells at anyone and at least half the laundry is folded and put away.

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But there is another woman that is mentioned in Proverbs far more than the one that is worth more than rubies.

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife Prov. 21:9

Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife Prov. 21:19

A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day Prov. 27:15

I fear far too many of us are more likely to resemble that wife than the one in chapter 31 on any given day. Especially since many versions translate quarrelsome as nagging. Feeling convicted yet?

Here is what I have been thinking about lately. The God of the Universe chose to include a bunch of verses (I didn’t even post them all above) about nagging wives in the Bible. I am 100% confident that was not by accident. I am pretty sure he was not thinking, “well women don’t really do this, but I will put it in there for the select few who might need to hear this word.”

I am thinking he put these verse in there because as women one of the married languages we speak most fluently is nagging.

Honey could you take out the trash?

Sweetheart, the trash is still here and is getting full.

Why is the trash still here?

Ok seriously, is the trash going to take out itself?

Is it possible that the reason God took such care to talk about the nagging wife because by nagging we are slowly chipping away at our marriage. Maybe our husbands won’t literally go live in a desert or to the corner of the roof, but they might retreat to the TV a little bit more, stay at work a little bit longer, or engage a little bit less in conversation.

Isn’t the very thing most women crave in marriage connection and communication? How is it that we think our nagging is going to get us there? What if instead our marriage was marked by this verse?

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Eph. 4:29

I think our marriages would flourish. I think our husbands would thrive, communication would improve, and intimacy would increase. I want my husband to spend his day anxious to come home to his family because he knows we are in his corner and that home is a place of refuge from the stress of work. I want to be the person he shares his deepest dreams and desires. I want to be his biggest cheerleader. Don’t you want that for your marriage?

So this week let your words be one that build your hubby up. It is national no nagging your husband week. Cause I said so. Don’t make me take all my nagging urges out on you!!


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Jill Anderson
Jill Anderson is a Jesus-loving, terribly fashionable wife and mom of three from Michigan. You can find her blogging about fashion and parenting at her blog, Just Jilly.