To the Mom Who Said “Becoming a Mother Has Made Me Pro-Choice”

Yesterday I read an article that really threw me for a loop. It appeared in my feed and I immediately clicked it, because it just seemed unbelievable to me. The title?

“Why Becoming a Mother Has Made Me Pro-Choice”.

I know a lot of women are pro-choice. I know that. And I know a lot of mothers are—but honestly in my heart, I always felt like any mom who has seen her baby moving around on an ultrasound and then weeks later, held the same baby in her arms probably has to be, deep down inside her, pro-life. OR at least willing to admit that a baby in the womb is ALIVE. A human. A person. Not a choice. I mean, even if she can’t say it loud, in her heart…how can she not believe?

newborn baby

I know, I’m a hopefully naive optimist.

Dear Mama who wrote that article, I am not condemning or judging you. I am disagreeing with you though. And my heart is thrilled that you chose life for your baby! But my heart is broken that you’re using that choice to move the cause of abortion forward.

I don’t know how you felt when you were surprised by your unplanned first pregnancy. I was surprised by my unplanned third pregnancy, but I’d been married for ten years and had a good environment to bring the baby into. I know it’s not the same. But I’ve known and loved women who were in your shoes, including my own best friend. And those women have chosen life and used their motherhood to argue that abortion is the wrong choice to make when faced with a pregnancy one is in no way ready for.

In the article, you say that although you were pro-choice before you got pregnant, you decided to “throw myself into the unexpected” and have your child, even though the pregnancy was unplanned. And because that path you chose, motherhood, was so hard even WITH the support of your partner and your famiilies…you think all expectant moms should be able to choose whether or not to have an abortion, “because no one without financial stability, support, or the desire to be a mother should have to become one.”

But I think maybe, if you’re not ready to become a mother, you shouldn’t have sex. I know, totally unrealistic and CRAZY, right? How dare I? Isn’t the right to sex without consequences in the Constitution?

Look, I’m not trying to be a jerk. But I think that point needs to be made. Yep, people are going to have sex before they’re ready to be parents. But everyone knows the consequences. And no child should have his or her life snuffed out because someone made a choice to engage in sex before they were ready to become a parent. Especially not when there are literally thousands of couples waiting to adopt children. Longing for a child, praying for a child, wanting to welcome and love and care for a child who needs a stable home.

“Yes, it would be lovely if no one ever became pregnant accidentally and found themselves up against a choice no one wants to have to make. But that’s not reality,” you say. And sister, I can 100% agree with you there. I KNOW it will never be reality. But it CAN be a reality that those unwanted children are given LIFE and given to parents who will love and care for them, who’ve used their powers of choice to choose selflessness, caring, and love.

My pro-life views are fueled by my faith in Christ, that is true. But they’re also fueled by the several ultrasounds I’ve had as a mother of three children. Babies in the womb are alive. They move, they breathe, they feel, they react. Abortion is ending that life. Ending a life is called killing. Killing in all other forms in this country is legal. But killing your own child when it’s still inside your womb, the place God created to keep it safe and nourished? Totally legal and way easier than getting a hand gun.

Dear Pro-Choice Mama, I’m afraid you and I simply and irreconcilably disagree.


Pro-Life Mamas, this has to end. And we need to end it. Mothers, we need to end it. We need to stand up for LIFE. This mom used her platform to stand up for the choice to abort a child’s life. Let us use ours to stand up for all the reasons NOT TO.

Christians, we need to end abortion through our actions. I fear we live in a time when our votes will never be able to end legal abortion. (The author of the pro-choice piece also states that, “abortions will continue whether they’re kept safe and legal or not.” This is one of my least favorite pro-choice arguments. “Let’s keep the killing of unborn babies safe and legal! Because who cares if it’s wrong if people are going to do it anyway?” Yuck. But I digress.) Here’s what we can do to ensure that mothers who are contemplating ending their babies’ lives…DON’T.

  1. We can turn off the judgement. Sex before marriage may be a sin, but having a baby when you’re not married is not. A child is a blessing, a gift, whether the mother raises the child herself or gives it up for adoption. Do not condemn the woman with a rounded belly and no wedding ring. Embrace her.
  2. Volunteer with and/or give to crisis pregnancy centers and organizations that help single moms.
  3. Support a single mom or moms you know with your friendship, finances, and emotional support.
  4. Adopt. Show women with unplanned pregnancies that adoption is an amazing, loving choice. Care for birth mothers during their pregnancies and after. (Don’t feel called? Give financially to support adoption and birth mothers!)
  5. Foster. Foster care is one way that those of us who oppose abortion can prove it. It’s a loving way to come alongside struggling parents who HAVE chosen life. It’s  not enough to say, “You chose life. Thank you. Bye.” Be willing to give children a loving home when their parents need time to get their lives together so that they can then do the same. (Don’t feel called? Support foster families financially, materially, and emotionally!! Give them groceries, diapers, time off, vacations, whatever is within your resources to give!)
  6. Work with organizations that care for families in need. These are often families who have chosen life despite poverty and other difficult situations. Choose a local non-profit in your community who cares for these families and their practical needs and get involved.

And mothers…speak out about life. This mom has used her motherhood experience to argue for the ending of a child’s life. That boggles my mind. Please, mamas. Do the opposite. Speak out about a child’s worth and value. Speak out about selflessness and sacrifice. About how a baby’s loving touch is worth all the sleepless nights, emotional exhaustion, pregnancy inconveniences, and heartache that motherhood entails. Don’t be silent about life’s value. Don’t be silent about the evil of abortion.

I have been pro-life since I was a teenager. But becoming a mother has made me even more so. Oh, mamas, I pray it’s the same for you. And I pray for you the courage to act on it.


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Jenny Rapson
Jenny Rapson is a follower of Christ, a wife and mom of three from Ohio and a freelance writer and editor. You can find her at her blog, Mommin' It Up, or follow her on Twitter.