Why You Don’t Need to Clean Before Inviting Me Over


Last week I had my good friend and her boys over for a playdate. What I love about getting together with her is that there’s freedom to be real. I didn’t race around my house minutes before she came to make it look presentable. I didn’t attempt to create the illusion that I had time to do my hair.

Instead, this is how this playdate went down.

I greeted her with sopping wet hair. I was wearing yoga pants and carrying my twin girls in their bath towels who had decided to jump in the shower with me minutes earlier. The breakfast dishes were barely cleaned up and the toys were already covering the floor for the day.

And the best part? She didn’t care. Because she gets it. She gets that sleep was probably interrupted the night before and that I chose to rest a few extra minutes instead of waking up early to dry and curl my hair. She gets that showering alone sometimes isn’t an option and that I had to drag the kids along just so I could wash myself. She gets that dishes are never-ending and there’s no such thing as all the toys being put away. She gets it all.

She understands that more than anything, what I need during this season isn’t the stress of preparing for a get-together or a playdate — what I need is to know I’m not alone. So she continually meets me where I’m at.

We chat about the good, the bad, and the unknown, while our kids run wild and destroy the house. We pretend not to notice it. Because honestly? We’re willing to sacrifice just about anything, including a controlled environment, for a couple hours of adult conversation.

When one kid dumps an entire bag of cereal on the table and the next one throws it all over the floor, we laugh and enjoy the chaos. Then, she grabs the broom while holding my baby and starts sweeping it up.

She meets me in my mess. Time and time again.

My hope for all of us is that we’d pursue friendships in our messes. That we wouldn’t wait to reach out until we have it all together. When you welcome someone over to your dirty house for a playdate, I guarantee it’ll make that friend feel even more loved to know you trust her with your real life stuff.

The truth is, none of us lives in a perfect house with a white picket fence. There’s always more to the story, and there’s nothing better than to let someone in to YOUR story. That’s where life gets rich, it’s where we learn that we were placed on this Earth to bring light into each other’s darkness.

You are loved today, friend. Even in your messiest darkest hour, you are worthy of love.



This post originally appeared at Amber’s blog, Mommy’s Me Time.

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Amber Kuiper
After having four kids in less than three years and finding herself deep in survival mode, Amber made it her mission to write honest encouragement for moms in the everyday moments. She writes on her own blog, Mommy's Me Time and shares many more real life mom moments on her social media channels. She lives with her husband and kids in St. Paul, Minnesota, and would love for you to follow along on their crazy, not perfect, incredible journey. Follow her on Instagram: (@AmberMKuiper), Facebook (Mommy’s Me Time), and Periscope (@AmberMKuiper).