I was broken; a child with innocence stolen. But you make the broken things beautiful, and even the sexual abuse of seven-year-old me has been made into something good by your mighty hand. Because of your work in my life, I wouldn’t even change it now.
That’s how good you are, King Jesus.
And none of those things make sense to me, not really. They are hard and horrible and many of them a product of the evil in our world. But I know something the world doesn’t know. I know something the enemy refuses to acknowledge.
That you are bigger than this! That You, my King are still on Your throne!
That you work all things for the good of those who love you! (Romans 8:28)
That as this quote from Prince Charming in the season finale of ONCE UPON A TIME reminded me:
“DARKNESS DOESN’T WIN, IT JUST WANTS US TO THINK THAT IT DOES.”
I know that it’s true; even though it’s hard to see and believe it right now…the latest tragedy fresh in my mind. I keep looking back over my shoulder, wondering what just happened, and what on earth could be next.
Why does it keep shocking and surprising me? When it keeps on happening.
Jesus! We are sinful people, with ugly hearts of stone and we need you to make us new. We are evil, and evil has been done to us, and we desperately need YOU Jesus to heal us.
And I know you’ve been speaking that over me Lord, reminding me to have courage, like Lucy in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. In the middle of nightmare island, where everyone was being forced to face their most terrifying fears, she heard Aslan’s voice speaking, “Courage Dear Heart”. I know you have plans for me Jesus. I know I’m here, and not to have a spirit of fear, but to “do good and [to] not fear anything that is frightening.” 1 Peter 3:6
But man, am I frightened God. And somehow, in my humanness I feel like if I could just pin you down, I wouldn’t have to be afraid. If I just knew you were coming back soon, maybe all this would seem easier… But you didn’t let the disciples pin you down either.
“‘A little while, and you will see me no longer; and again a little while, and you will see me.’ So some of the disciples said to one another, “What is this he says to us, ‘A little while , and you will not see me, and again a little while, and you will see me’; and, ‘because I am going to the Father’? So they were saying, ‘What does he mean by ‘a little while’? We do not know what he is talking about.’ Jesus knew that they wanted to ask him, so he said to them, ‘Is this what you are asking yourselves, what I meant by saying, ‘A little while and you will not see me, and again a little while and you will see me’? Truly, truly, I say to you, you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn to joy. When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.” (John 16:16-22)
And I’ve asked you that question too Jesus…”What do you mean by ‘a little while’? And you don’t tell me, you don’t explain. You are teaching me that in comparison to the “eternal weight of glory” all this suffering and affliction will be “light and momentary” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18).
And for all this garbage to seem light and momentary…for this to all somehow seem worth it in the eternal scheme of things…That means it’s going to have to be pretty great. Greater even than the earthly redemption that serves as this foretaste of what your Kingdom is all about.
So today, I mourn, but not as one who has no hope. (1 Thessalonians 4:13) For you make all things new.
And we ask you Jesus, Come back soon. My tears stand on my cheeks, waiting for your loving hand to wipe them away. But until then, I will remember this quote that I heard in a sermon once.
“Hope is hearing the music of the future, and having the courage to dance to it in the present.” -Unknown
This article originally appeared here, published with permission.