If I Had Only Known

“Are we tying your tubes while we’re in here?” My doctor asked.

I hesitated. I was PRETTY sure I never wanted to be pregnant again.

But not sure enough.

I looked at my husband. “I’m not ready for that yet,” I said.

I walked out of that hospital with my fertility intact.

If I had only known, I wouldn’t have.

If I had ONLY known what was to come, I would have said. “YES. TIE THOSE TUBES. I have more than I can handle.”

But I didn’t know.

I didn’t know that Sophie would cry nearly ALL the time. I didn’t know that she’d only sleep in 45-minute spurts day or night. I didn’t know she’d want to nurse ALL the time, that she’d scream at night to be comforted and that the only person she wanted to do the comforting was ME.


Jenny Rapson
Jenny Rapson
Jenny is a follower of Christ, a wife and mom of three from Ohio and a freelance writer and editor.

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