Our Babies Were Stillborn, But They Were Still Born

Chances are, even if you don’t know who, you know someone whose life has been impacted [by] a stillbirth. If you are aware of this, then you probably know how important it is to acknowledge and honor the baby who was lost. You may have heard the parents ask for you to say their baby’s name and to remember their existence. This acknowledgment is so important to the families who have lost their babies.

We need to remember that even when our babies are stillborn they are still loved.

But, there is something else that needs to be remembered. There is a conversation that is discussed far too seldom, even among the women who have experienced it. Maybe this conversation isn’t happening because we’re uncomfortable or because we’re unaware. Maybe we just don’t have the words for something so heartbreaking. Whatever our reason, we are forgetting to mention something.

We need to remember that stillbirth is still a birth.

I say this on behalf of all mothers whose child was stillborn. Our babies did not silently appear in our arms. They were delivered there by us. Just like any other woman, we gave birth to our babies and we have a birth story. The only difference is that for the mother of a stillborn baby, the ending comes first.

Rachel Whalen
Rachel Whalen
Rachel Whalen is a writer and Kindergarten teacher who lives in Vermont. She is the mother of two daughters; 2-year-old Frances and Dorothy who was stillborn in 2016. Since Dorothy's death, Rachel has used her writing to advocate for others who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss. Her writing has been widely shared by Still Standing magazine, Pregnancy After Loss Support, the Today Show, and Her View From Home. In sharing her story, Rachel hopes that she can let others know they are not alone in their heartbreak and their love for their child. Connect with Rachel on Facebook, and see more of her writing on her blog.

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