How many times have I heard this said to me? Maybe by a stranger cooing at my sweet, smiley, baby boy. They’d tickle his chin and laugh and then so, “Oh he’s so sweet. But just wait. Just wait until he’s a teenager…”
How many times have I said it to another mom? Maybe one who is nine months pregnant and just SO EXHAUSTED. “You think you’re tired now? Just wait until that baby won’t sleep for more than two hours at a time. THEN you’ll really be tired.”
Why do we say that? Why do we have to one-up them, warn them, refuse to let them just bask in the moment for a little while.
Why do we do this to our fellow moms? I really have no idea. Is it because we want them to know how hard WE’VE had it? If so, that’s not a good reason.
I mean, misery loves company, but why drag someone into that company that has no reason to be there.
All these thoughts really came back to me when I was scrolling Instagram the other day and saw a post from Instagramming mom Meg Boggs. Her image was powerful, but it was the WORDS she wrote to accompany it that really hit me in the heart. Meg fully took on the “just wait” phenomenon, writing about how it had taken some joy and stolen some confidence from certain seasons of her motherhood.
Meg’s photo caption says:
The innocent comment that would always make me doubt my current season of motherhood.
Just wait until the third trimester. Just wait until the labor contractions start. Just wait until the delivery. Just wait until you take her home. Just wait until she starts teething. Just wait until she starts crawling. Just wait until you have two. Just wait until you have three. Just wait.
Sometimes I would feel like my motherhood season wasn’t as challenging as the next season or a different season, so expressing my hardship wasn’t validated. I didn’t have it as hard as the single mom, or the mom whose husband leaves for days or weeks at a time for work, or the mom with multiples, or the mom that has six kids. But all of us are warriors in what we do. We all experience motherhood and it’s many seasons at different times and in different ways. My motherhood season and my hardship doesn’t need validation. And yours doesn’t either, mama.
So to all the mamas out there, in whatever season you are currently in, know that you are a warrior. You are a freaking MOTHER WARRIOR. And you are awesome.
Mamas, like Meg says, the motherhood season you’re in and the hardship you are or are not experiencing does NOT need validation. Every experience is unique and different, and yours matters. Don’t let comparison, opinions, or those two little words keep you from relishing where you and your babies are at right now.
Count it all joy, and Mom on, my dears. Mom ON.