Sister, It’s Time We Stop Trying to Make Our Kids ‘Happy’

happy

I think it’s time we stop trying to make our kids “happy.”

I know. I know.
Super unpopular opinion.

But I don’t think that’s my job.
I don’t think I am called to make my kids “happy.”

I think my job is to help them find their own happy.

And here’s how I am figuring out how to do it.

I don’t make it easy for them.
And I try incredibly hard not to give in.

I think it’s like this:

They need to fail.
They need disappointment.
They need to know how to handle the hard.
They need to learn how to fall, gracefully so they can get back up.

They need to figure things out, work things out, wrestle with the hard and know they can safely come to mom for guidance.

But I think this is our job:

Show them we actually struggle.
Show them how we work through.
Show them how we handle conflict through healthy conversation.
Show them that it isn’t easy for us.
Show them how when we fail, we get back up.
Show them how we deal with disappointment.

It’s simple.
Show them how we handle the hard.

Our actions teach them to be respectful, hardworking and compassionate.

That’s how they find their own happy.

My daily prayer is simple: “Lord, let me show them happy, the hard way.”

Happy the hard way mama.
It’s not about skirting around it, it’s about showing them through it.

We’ve got this.
Rooting for you.

I think it’s time we stop trying to make our kids “happy.”

I know. I know.
Super unpopular opinion.

But I don’t…

Posted by Katy Ursta on Wednesday, June 24, 2020

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Katy Ursta
Hey all!  I am Katy Ursta married to my college sweetheart for 12 years, a mom of two boys, and a stage four cancer survivor. I started writing as a way of coping with my diagnosis, but found the more I shared about cancer, the more universal cancer became, and the more connected I felt to others and the less isolated I felt through the struggle.  I own a virtual health and wellness company and commit to helping my clients find a deeper motivation to fight for their own health. When I am not in the stands of my sons' hockey games, I am usually found folding the never ending piles of laundry, looking for the matching sock, breaking up hockey fights, or (let's just be honest) with my hand buried in the bag of chocolate, asking the question, "what do you want for dinner?"  You can find more of my work on Facebook, Instagram, or on my website.