What we CAN do, what we MUST do is talk to our children about what healthy sexual relationships look like BEFORE they ever see porn so that if and when they do see it (and statistics say it’s a WHEN) they can recognize it for the FARCE that it is. And yes, we must TELL them what it is WHILE THEY ARE YOUNG. Before age 10, I’d say, before they start using a computer or device and understand how to utilize Google. TELL THEM. Tell them from your perspective or they will get the porn perspective, which, Jones’ article says, are mostly “shot from the male point of view, as if the man were holding the camera while he has sex with a woman whose main job, via oral sex, intercourse or anal sex, is to make him orgasm.” And it teaches boys that girls WANT IT ALL. Says one teen in the case of anal sex and consent, ““I would just do it,” because he says, all the women in porn look like they love it, why wouldn’t his female partner? Why would he need to ask if she was ok with it?
This is what porn is teaching our sons about our daughters. How can we NOT do everything in our power to PREVENT this?
The article says much, much worse, but I won’t detail it all here; you should really read it. Because the need to PROTECT our kids from seeing and getting hooked on porn and thereby PROTECT their future sexual relationships has never been greater. So parents, today I am going to ask you to:
1) Talk to your kids about sex. Tell them what porn is from an early and appropriate age. If they are very young use these two books to get started.
How God Makes Babies by Jim Burns
Good Pictures, Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids by Kristen A. Jenson
2) Filter your Internet. Use Circle by Disney to filter internet and control their device usage, or use a filter like Covenant Eyes.
3) Have rules for when and where they can use devices with Internet. No closed doors when they are using tablets, phones, and computers.
4) Have rules that state you will CHECK THESE DEVICES REGULARLY
5) Have an open and honest dialogue with your kids that shows them how much responsibility comes with the TRUST you are giving them when they use the Internet.
6) Talk about these topics often enough so that they know they can ALWAYS come to you when they’ve seen something and that they won’t get yelled at, but rather they will have a parent who will help protect them from it happening again.
Moms and dads, I implore you. DON’T let porn be your kids’ sex ed teacher. That is not the school’s job, it’s YOUR job. Be open with them and get them the literature and info they need, so that they DON’T get it from PornHub. And if you’re a person of faith, as I am, please teach them that God’s design for sex with your spouse is fun, healthy, fulfilling, and beautiful for both partners — truly too wonderful for the world to ever understand.
