As moms, we often wish that our husbands would “get it.” My husband is the most amazing dad, but my kids, despite my urging (LOL) still see me as the “default parent.” Even when my husband is home, they come to me first. They will walk past him sitting in the middle of the house to track me down in the bathroom and intrude on my precious potty time to ask if they can have a snack. Though my husband does most of the laundry, they still ask me where their clothes are. YOU get it, if you’re a mom and you’re reading this.
It’s a GIFT when our husbands get it, too. So when I read a blog post written by a husband who had an “a ha” moment about why his wife needs her alone time, I knew I had to share.
Shawn Waugh, the husband half of the married couple behind the blog Nearly Never Normal, writes about how he recently stumbled into the kitchen at 5:30 a.m. to find his wife already there, alone. As he noisily stirred condiments into his coffee, she hissed at him, “Don’t wake the kids!”
Waugh writes that he was at first taken aback by this not-so-cheery morning greeting from his beloved better half, but then, he says, “It hit me like a ton of bricks.” His kids would be up in 30 minutes, and he would be headed out the door to work. His wife NEEDED her alone time. He says:
“This is the most precious time of her day. It’s her quiet time. The only time of the day she can sit alone in pure silence. This is her time. Her time to pray, read a daily devotional, the Scriptures, drink her coffee (that she made quietly), or even just meditate on the day ahead. It is her alone time! “
Waugh goes on to say that he can take a quiet lunch hour in his office with the door closed at lunch if he needs some alone time, but his homeschooling wife and mom of four cannot do that. She has to be ON all day, and very, very NOT alone. He realized in that moment that if she gets up at 5 a.m. JUST to be alone, that he needed to help that be possible for her to fuel up for her day emotionally and spiritually, no matter what.
He then encourages other dads to oblige their wives’ need for alone time whenever possible:
It’s the little things that our wives need and desire. Thinking about going the extra mile to put in or fold a load of laundry, or two… think twice before hitting that ice dispenser at night when the kids are asleep. Think thrice before stirring the condiments into the coffee like a madman at 5:30 a.m. Don’t wake the kids!
Thanks Shawn, for “getting it” that your wife needs her alone time, and for encouraging your fellow dads to do the same.
Because DUDE. Moms need those few minutes of alone time to prepare our hearts, minds, and bodies to serve our kids every day, and that is just a FACT. A little can go a really long way.