Not Empty Handed: God’s Gifts in My Recurrent Pregnancy Loss


More precious to me than anything I gained through my losses is the gift of God himself. Through losing my three babies, I received more of Jesus. He drew near to me in my grief. He gave me the gift of bowing in his presence in honest lament. I experienced his comfort and learned to trust him more. In all these things, he gave me the gift of knowing him more.

When God takes away something we cherish, we are not left empty-handed. He gives us more of himself. Not that we didn’t already have all of Christ, but in suffering we learn more about him and trust him more.

In our suffering, our eyes are opened to behold his goodness. We feel our need for him, which causes us to call out to him, and he draws near to us. Like a sick child cries out for his mother and she draws near to comfort and console him, our Father comes close and comforts us in ways only he can. His presence becomes our greatest joy. And we’re reminded that he is our portion, and he is enough.

“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11 ESV).


Many of us know the promises of future babies that leap from the mouths of well-meaning friends and family and even strangers. But we aren’t promised a baby. Even if we were, that wouldn’t take away the grief of this baby—the one we’d already imagined in the highchair, at our dinner table or swaddled in a crib.

There’s someone more valuable than even a child. His name is Jesus. Grief has a way of drawing us to him, the only one who can truly understand our pain.

Jesus understands my pain, and he continues to meet me in it. He will do the same for you. He longs for you to behold his goodness that brings joy through the weeping.

In your grief, you can receive more of Jesus. You can know him—your suffering Savior. To know him more is to treasure him more. But Jesus is not a consolation prize for the loss of your unborn baby. He is the prize—the treasure that surpasses all other treasures.


This piece originally appeared at, published with permission.

Brittany Allen
Brittany Allen
Brittany Allen is a wife to James and mother to Theo as well as three babies lost through miscarriage. She is seeking to treasure Christ above all other things and hopes her writing encourages and equips other women to do the same. Find more of her writing on her blog at You can also follow her on Instagram @brittanyleeallen and Twitter @BritLeeAllen.

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