I Am So Mad and Sad About Divorce In the Church—and I’m Also THAT Girl

All day long we can call ourselves victims (and some most certainly are).

All of these things are important. All of them help us to understand, heal, and move on.

And I am in favor of more marriage courses and retreats. I don’t want to see one more couple severed. One more family sharing weekends and every other Thursday.

But at the end of the day…Jesus.

For those who are still married, I’ve been to marriage courses and counseling. I forgave and God restored (for a season). And after collecting tons of marriage data and how-to (all good info), I know one thing: more Jesus wins every time. I know that sounds so very easy coming from my lips and so very hard for your heart, hands, and feet. I get it. Oh, how I know. But, please. Please. Please. Seek Him together. Jesus is the  “happy” in your ever after. And while there are no guarantees, you can never go wrong with more of Him.

For those who are divorced, I know you feel lost in the church. It’s awkward, huh? My pastor friend said yesterday…sometimes weekly church attendance becomes more painful than helpful. Do you know about that? Find a church that loves you well and loves others well – even if the divorcees are the elephant in the room (not a ‘true’ single, but not married). And when the pastor starts talking marriage, don’t leave or recoil, pray. You don’t want another human sitting in your shoes, right?

Crumbling marriages have existed since antiquity. I know this is NOTHING NEW under the sun. But it feels new. It feels like it’s everywhere.

And I wish I had a good word for you. A solution. A call to action. Anything. I can’t tell you how much I want to organize a march or a nonprofit or whatever to stop this madness – a place where you and I can be mutually encouraged by one another’s faith (Romans 1:12)  And who knows…I might:)

But for today, I can offer you, Jesus. In the midst of this heartbreaking news. In the midst of the division of property and custody. In the midst of the loneliness and heartache. In the uncertainty and the suffering. In the rebuilding and the reliving…

He will never leave you nor forsake you – even if it feels like He has. Trust Him. He hasn’t. (Deuteronomy 31: 6-8; Hebrews 13:5)

Circumstances change with the wind, but Jesus was, and is, and is to come. (Revelation 1:8)

Trust Him. Send me the Facebook message. We can and will walk this out together, friend, for HE IS FAITHFUL. You are not “too much” or “too much drama.” You are hurting and flailing. Together, we will cast our cares on Him every moment of every day because we know: He loves us.


This article originally appeared at Making Much of Him 365.


Sarah Farish
Sarah Farish is a Jesus follower, single mom to Hannah and Owen, teacher, writer, and friend.   She serves on the Women of Purpose leadership team, planning annual events in Honduras and West Virginia as part of the Social Media and Marketing Team. Sarah’s blogged for five years with a heart to serve women, love single moms, and remind her sisters to come to His feet as they are. She loves story, big hair, waterfalls, grammar, the color yellow, and mission trips to Honduras. You can connect with her on her blog makingmuchofhim365.com, a place where she encourages women to make much of Jesus every day of the year, and on social media: @sarahfarish (Instagram/Twitter) and Making Much of Him 365 on Facebook.

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