And you can exchange other words for rules. Opinions. Lessons. Studies. Guidelines. Lists. Programs. Beliefs. Standards. Policies. Ad nauseam.
I’ve had it. Please, and I mean this from the bottom of my overly exhausted heart, take your scientific pie chart and shove it.
I never realized in all the years of my anxiety and worrying about having kids, that maybe I would not be the problem after all. That loving my boys and doing my best to just provide for them with the resources that are available to me, without losing my mind or breaking the bank, was what a responsible parent looks like.
That being bi-polar or on medication is not what would keep me up at night. Instead I’m awake wondering if I washed the boys new clothes we just bought before they wore them today because I read an article about them having toxic chemicals in them that are bad for their skin.
Can we just go ahead and say that everything everywhere is trying to kill us? Always? And just get it over with? Move on? We’re all gonna die someday anyhow. This has gotten out of hand.
Instead, I want to feed my children one meal. Just one meal, and not have that little voice in the back of my head gnawing at me about whether or not what they are ingesting is possibly the feast of Satan. I just don’t know it yet because I haven’t had the time in my super flexible schedule to research all the ingredients on the packaging.
I am not saying being pro-active is wrong. I am not saying caring about these issues is wrong. I am not saying having a voice is wrong. Do what you can. When you can. I know I do. For all you Mamas knocking it out of the park with this stuff, right on. You have my utmost respect. Truly. You are to be commended.
I’m just tired. Tired of it all. I look at my boys when I put them to bed every night and they are the sweetest, happiest, healthiest people that I have ever met. So far, they are the best thing I have ever done. This is the one thing in my life that I know that I’m getting right. Whether the latest mommy trends agree or not. And sometimes I wish I lived in a time where I wasn’t inundated with these daily articles.
My Father runs an after care facility for trafficked children in Thailand. Two weeks ago they took in a three year old. I repeat, a three year old. She has never spoken and is completely malnourished. Only God knows what she has seen, endured. Meanwhile, we here in the west are getting bent out of shape about what time we put our kids to bed.
Perspective.
So that’s it. Post all the scathing articles. Share the latest revelations. I’ll pass for now. Life is hard enough. I’m going to live and soak in each moment with my boys instead. When I see, “10 Things you had no idea were in the air you are breathing right now,” or, “Did you know that opening your eyeballs can be fatal?” I am going to shut my computer and go to sleep. And dream about our next camping trip. Or hiking adventure. Because I’m tired. Really, really, tired. And I’m more interested in living each day with my children than dying with them.
Thank you and good night.
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This post originally appeared at SarahKaillies.com