It’s only 12:25 p.m. and I’m already done for the day.
That’s it, I’ve had enough. I’m punching the imaginary time clock and getting the heck out of here because if I don’t, I’m going to lose it. The “it” being my mind, my sanity, my cool, my sh” “…all of “it”!
“MOOOOOOM!! I can’t find the iPad!”
“MOOOOOM!! I need some juice right now!”
“MOOOOOM!!” I’m starving even though we JUST ate breakfast 2 hours ago.
“Ugh, Mom. You’re soooo annoying. I don’t want to clean my room!”
“Why do I have to help carry in the groceries? He never has to help do anything!”
“You’re sooooo mean to me! This isn’t fair!”
I don’t want to hear the word “mom” again for the rest of the day.
I don’t want to fix meals.
I don’t want to do dishes.
I don’t want to wipe butts and noses.
I don’t want to do another load of laundry.
I don’t want to clean up anymore spilled milk.
I DON’T WANT TO BE A MOM TODAY!!
I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE!!
I NEED A BREAK!!
But I can’t have one, because there’s no one else here to do it all for me. There’s no one here to help carry the load. So no matter how tired I am, or frustrated I am, I have to do it anyway.
Even on the days when I’m pushed to my limits, I have to show up. I have to “clock in.”
Even on days when I feel ready to snap…the weight of it all too much to bear, I have to hang on for dear life to the very last thread. Because they didn’t ask for this. They didn’t ask for a mother who cannot keep it together. They didn’t know they were getting me.
These days can feel so overwhelming sometimes. They can feel so isolating, so lonely.
But Mama, I need you to understand this:
Motherhood is hard.
It’s not always pretty.
It’s not always sunshine and happy thoughts.
It’s exhausting. It’s draining. It can be too much.
It can leave you depleted. It will make you question your sanity.
But no one can do this quite like you. No one understands what those kids need quite like you.
You are the glue holding all of this together.
So just breathe. Take a moment alone. Make another cup of coffee, try to calm your nerves. Call a friend, talk it through. Everything will be okay.
And once your head is back on straight, hug those babies, smile at the sight of them, and remind yourself why you do it all in the first place.
And when your husband walks through that door at 5:30, you leave them in his capable hands and you run like the wind, sister, as fast as your legs (or car) will take you. You run straight to Starbucks, or the nail salon or TJ Maxx. Anywhere where you can find just a few moments of peace to do something just for yourself.
Sometimes, it’s the little escapes that help us the most.