- Provide limits in both time and specific games types. Andrea suggests a cap of an hour a day for older kids and half an hour a day for younger kids. (As a teacher she sees the damage to the majority of kids who play games many, many more hours than this, and some of whom exhibit ADD type symptoms partly as a result.) In terms of game types, she recommends parents assess players’ maturity to see what they can safely handle. She personally feels that story-based video games have more potential for spiritual growth than game-based ones.
- Don’t shame kids for wanting to play video games. Video games are fun and popular, and it’s normal that kids want to play them.
- Look for positive elements in video games and connect with them about it. Andrea suggested that I watch my son play his favorite game, for example, and talk with him about it. She also suggested I consider finding a game I’d also like and playing it with him.
- Use video games as a chance to analyze components of life, and to practice self control. Andrea’s sense is that entering and modulating the world of video game play while kids are still under parents’ influence is a wise route, and she commends it over a “hardline” approach of no videos games (setting it up as a forbidden fruit that kids than may come to crave).
Several story-based video games that Andrea enjoys and recommends
1) Age of Empires II, which she credits for fostering a love of learning and history in her
2) Final Fantasy series, which have engaging stories with incredible settings and personable characters
3) Eastshade or Journey, games that encourage the player to relax and rewards her for exploring; a contemplative and peaceful game.
My take
So what do I take from all of this?
I’m grateful to have my mind enlarged in this important realm. I’m encouraged to know that people like Andrea are out there in the world – people who play video games and find them to be edifying in life, faith, and interacting with the world. I’m heartened by ministries that seek so direct gamers to play in faith-compatible ways, and who are looking to infuse light into the world of gaming.
None of those things take away from the fact that gaming’s a tricky thing to incorporate well into a household. This is mainly because playing games is so fun and engaging that it can make other fun facets of life feel less fun or rewarding, which becomes a motivation-killer.
Shooting hoops in the driveway or playing checkers with a sibling seem boring in comparison. Also because gaming is so fun and engaging, kids naturally desire to do more and more of it, and this will always create a wrestle that needs to be managed (in the kid, or in the parent-child relationship). We have strict time limits, for example, but they’re hard to maintain. And bottom line, I’d rather have my kid thrive and excel in most any other area of life over gaming, and the while I can see that playing video games can have redemptive elements, I don’t see it being primarily a redemptive component of our family life today.
Still, we do have gaming in our corporate family life, and as I reflect on what I’ve learned, I think I’ll do three things:
- Seek to enter into my son’s gaming a little bit more – generate a little curiosity about what he’s doing, watch little, learn a little terminology. And in this, seek to foster more productive conversations about the content and relevance of what’s happening in the games.
- Refrain from annoyance and judgment in my tome and language when he’s gaming – while still maintaining limits and firmness with boundaries
- Consider finding a game I might like and playing it with him. This would be a huge stretch for me, as it’s something I literally never would have considered before talking with Andrea.
Imagine this. What if my son ended up like Andrea, interacting with his gaming (at the same involvement level as he has now) as a means to reflect on – and grow in – faith, self-knowledge, and self-control? And what if he asked critical questions about it, wrote and interacted about it, in a way that called others in his generation into similar questions? I’d be grateful and proud.
That’s worth praying about.
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This piece originally appeared at susanbarico.com, published with permission.
