During a recent visit to Walt Disney World, brothers Andrew Loffa and Michael Colletti found themselves in a situation familiar to many fathers: their 2-year-old daughters needed to use the restroom. However, their approaches differed significantly, sparking a debate that has since gone viral on TikTok.
Loffa, known to many as DJ Drewski, a 36-year-old radio host, instinctively headed toward the men’s restroom with his daughter, Solar. Conversely, Colletti, a New Jersey police officer, guided his daughter, Emma, to the women’s restroom, believing it to be the cleaner and safer option.
“I was like, ‘Mike are you kidding?'” DJ Drewski recounted to TODAY.com. “I thought he was joking around.” With no time to debate further, each dad used their preferred bathroom.
The Girl Dad Bathroom Debate
Later that day, DJ Drewski turned to TikTok to settle the debate. He explained his discomfort with entering a women’s bathroom, emphasizing respect for it as a safe space for women. Colletti, on the other hand, argued that a men’s room is not a suitable environment for a little girl, preferring the cleanliness and perceived safety of the women’s restroom. He also ensures to announce himself before entering.
@djdrewski As a “Girl Dad” which restroom are you supoose to use with your toddler DAUGHTER in public places??? #question #girldad #toddlersoftiktok #disney ♬ original sound – DJ Drewski
The TikTok post quickly amassed more than 8,000 comments, with users sharing diverse perspectives and personal anecdotes:
One commenter shared, “My dad used to bring me to the guys bathroom and have me close my eyes until we got into the stall.”
Another added, “As someone who cleaned bathrooms when I was a teenager, women’s bathrooms are NOT more clean.”
“My dad used to pick me up, and I would bury my head in his shoulder, covering my eyes, and he would announce in the men’s bathroom that he was bringing his daughter in.”
Others shared their methods:
“Definitely the ladies room. You just announce yourself first, ‘girl dad coming in!'”
An overwhelming amount of TikTok users agreed with her sentiment and advised the same thing–that little girls are more than welcome in the women’s bathroom, but have the courtesy to announce yourself.
“I remember being a child and feeling really weird and awkward and uncomfy going in the men’s with my dad even if I knew I was safe.”
An Expert Weighs In
Parenting and youth development expert Dr. Deborah Gilboa weighed in, aligning with DJ Drewski’s stance. “If the men’s room is a little bit dirtier, so what? We don’t assume that little boys are in danger from coming in contact with men’s room germs,” she told TODAY.com. Gilboa emphasized that as long as the father is present and attentive, the child’s safety is not compromised.
However, Gilboa acknowledged scenarios where using the women’s restroom might be necessary, such as the absence of changing tables in men’s rooms. “Unless there’s a good reason to use the women’s room, stick to the men’s room,” she advised.
The discussion DJ Drewski and Colletti sparked highlights the broader societal considerations about restroom usage, gender norms, and the evolving role of fathers in caregiving. While there may not be a one-size-fits-all answer, the consensus among many is to prioritize the child’s comfort and safety, while being mindful of the environment and those around them.
Ultimately, the decision on which restroom to use will vary based on personal comfort levels, the specific circumstances, and the cultural context. The most important takeaway is ensuring that our daughters feel safe and cared for, no matter which door they walk through.
