Submission is a term that’s often misunderstood, especially in relationships. For many, it conjures images of control or loss of independence, but biblically, submission is about humility, trust, and mutual respect. Far from being oppressive, submission in a healthy, Christ-centered relationship encourages both partners to support, uplift, and strengthen each other. Here’s a look at how to be submissive in a way that honors God and builds a healthy, loving partnership.
Understanding How to Be Submissive in a Biblical Context
The Bible mentions submission in several passages, most notably in Ephesians 5:21-33, where Paul calls for mutual submission in marriage. However, the biblical concept of submission is often misunderstood. To be submissive doesn’t mean to be weak or to forfeit independence; instead, it’s about humility, openness, and working together as a team.
Being submissive is not about one partner having control over the other. Rather, it’s a call for both partners to prioritize each other’s needs, listen with empathy, and approach the relationship with love and understanding. Let’s break down what submission in a relationship truly means and how it can be a healthy, empowering practice.
1. Embrace Mutual Submission
Mutual submission is a foundational concept in the Bible, as seen in Ephesians 5:21, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Here, Paul instructs both partners to submit to each other. This means each person should approach the relationship with a willingness to serve, respect, and prioritize their partner’s well-being.
In practical terms, mutual submission means:
- Listening actively to your partner’s perspective.
- Being willing to compromise when possible.
- Supporting each other’s growth and ambitions.
When both people approach the relationship with this mindset, submission becomes a natural expression of love, support, and mutual respect. It’s about giving up a desire for control and seeking ways to build each other up.
2. Understand the True Meaning of Biblical Submission
Many people interpret submission as one partner having control over the other, but biblical submission is far from that. In fact, Jesus himself modeled submission throughout His ministry by serving others selflessly and humbly. In John 13:1-17, Jesus washes His disciples’ feet, showing that leadership and love involve humility and a servant’s heart.
Biblical submission means:
- Seeking to honor God by treating your partner with respect, love, and patience.
- Putting aside selfish desires and focusing on the well-being of both you and your partner.
- Building a partnership based on trust, understanding, and empathy.
When approached from a biblical perspective, submission is an act of faith and trust, both in God and in the partnership. It’s not about giving up autonomy but rather learning to support and be supported in ways that foster a healthy, God-centered relationship.
3. Practice Humility and Let Go of Pride
Humility is essential for healthy submission. Being submissive requires us to put our pride aside and prioritize the good of the relationship over individual desires. Humility in a relationship involves:
- Apologizing when you’re wrong and seeking forgiveness.
- Valuing your partner’s input without letting ego get in the way.
- Recognizing and respecting your partner’s strengths and wisdom.
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This doesn’t mean suppressing your own opinions or being overly deferential. Instead, practicing humility means being willing to admit when you need help, showing gratitude for your partner’s support, and embracing the idea that both people contribute equally to the relationship’s success.
4. Open Up Lines of Communication
Healthy submission can only happen in relationships where there’s open, honest communication. Being submissive in a way that honors God involves creating a safe space where both partners feel heard and valued. This involves:
- Having regular, open discussions about feelings, goals, and challenges.
- Practicing active listening and avoiding interruptions.
- Asking your partner for their input and valuing their opinions.
When both partners communicate openly, submission becomes an active choice that brings the couple closer, rather than a demand imposed by one partner. A relationship built on clear communication allows both people to express their needs, desires, and boundaries, leading to deeper connection and trust.
