3. Do you have any questions about your day?
This question allows us to jump through the honesty hoop together. It establishes a habit of always letting them know that they can ask me anything and can trust me to listen and love. It shows them that I’m a “safe” person who isn’t going to judge or get angry or be upset if they want to talk about the tough stuff.
4. How did you show kindness or love today?
This question allows us to jump through the integrity hoop together. It encourages them to be kind and loving to others even when no one is watching. It is the most powerful, life-changing question I have asked! My kids have learned just how simple it is and how capable they are of showing kindness or love every single day. When I first started asking this question, my eight year old had trouble coming up with an answer, so I would step in to tell what I saw him do–he was thoughtful to take his plate to the sink, he played with his sister nicely, he gave his little brother a turn with his squirt gun, he washed his hands the first time I asked him to. Creating an awareness of the little ways that he can show kindness and love has empowered him to do even more. Plus, I find myself looking for those positive things that each child does throughout the day so I can share it with them that night. They love hearing all the great things they’ve done. Kindness and love…this is the focus I want my kids to have throughout their day!
The 4 questions to ask kids at bedtime have helped me learn more about my kids: baseball game play-by-plays, storm fears, favorite colors and movies. But I have also taught more to my kids: answering questions about abortion, smoking, appreciating the differences in others and I’ll never forget the night we cried together about a little boy in a wheel chair.
Jumping through the 4-Hoops questions to ask kids about positivity, reality, honesty, and integrity every night, I have laughed louder, cried more, snuggled closer, and taught lessons about life that I would not have had the opportunity to do in the busyness of the day. Dear mom, at bedtime, won’t you join me in fixing that glitch in your mommy code, upgrading your patience level, bending your knees, and jumping through these four extra hoops with me every night too? I promise that these are the questions to ask your kids, and the hoops you will never regret jumping through for them.
This post originally appeared at Her View From Home, published with permission.