More Than Miscarriage Statistics: I Carried the One

I carried the one.

But the size of our family remained the same.

My body multiplied, but the one inside me vanished, resulting in a problem that couldn’t be solved.

Because when you become pregnant you expect to bring a baby home, but when your baby dies instead, nothing makes sense. There is no fixing it. There is no answer.

What was supposed to be an addition to our family never added up.

I carried the one who would be forgotten.

The one who would be erased from everyone’s memory but my own.

I carried the baby who made our family incomplete. The one whose absence goes unnoticed.

The one who’s left spaces empty that should be filled.

I carried the baby who is no longer part of this world, but will always be a part of mine. The one who didn’t touch your life, but left a mark on mine. The one who didn’t change the world, but changed me.

I carried the one who existed for just a short time, but who I’ll carry in my heart forever.

Miscarriage Statistics Help Us Look to the Future

The numbers show that women are not alone in their infant and pregnancy loss. Healthcare professionals use statistics when caring for patients and determining the next steps for families.

  • Most women who have experienced a miscarriage have had subsequent healthy pregnancies and births.
  • 70%-75% of all pregnancies will end in loss, when you factor in fertilized eggs that fail to implant. Many of these go unnoticed by mothers.
  • Most miscarriages occur within the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. The risk of miscarriage drops as the pregnancy progresses — to between 3% and 4%. And, after 20 weeks, the risk is roughly 1 in 160 (or 0.6%).
  • Without a history of miscarriage, most first-time miscarriages don’t recur and seem to be random.
  • After one miscarriage, the risk of another is about 20% (about the same as without any history of miscarriage).
  • And, after two miscarriages, the risk is 28%. After three miscarriages, the future risk is 43%.

You can find more information on these statistics.

This article originally appeared on and is shared here with permission.

Jenny Albers also wrote about her own story of pregnancy loss and pregnancy after loss in her book, Courageously Expecting?

Jenny Albers
Jenny Albers
Jenny Albers is a full-time mom who feels blessed to call the midwest home. She is raising two earth babies and remembering two heaven babies. You can find her (trying) to keep up with her personal blog, A Beautifully Burdened Life, when she has.a few minutes to spare. Her work can also be found at Her View From Home, Love What Matters, Pregnancy After Loss Support, Scary Mommy, That's Inappropriate, and various other spaces around the web. Facebook/Instagram: jennyalbersauthor Twitter: byjennyalbers

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