Some days of motherhood are long and take endless amounts of effort and patience. Then, you blink and your baby boy is suddenly reading big kid books and only accepting cheek kisses.
You blink and the cuddle time fades and the big boy personality slowly sinks in, deeper and deeper.
The only thing that helps the harshness of his lost little-isms is the view of him reading to me, with two missing front teeth. A visual that his little isn’t totally gone. A visual that time has slipped slowly by, but hasn’t escaped completely.
Motherhood suddenly makes time more powerful and noticeable. It becomes the thing that breaks us, and the thing that sets us free. We watch as our babies grow to be big kids, and then even bigger kids, and one day, they’ll be grown.
Our hearts are flexible and robust. Motherhood is such a priceless gift. If only it were timeless too.
For now, I’ll keep rubbing his head when he needs calmed, just the way he likes. I’ll keep grabbing his hand so he feels supported. I’ll keep holding him in my lap, as long as he’ll fit. And I’ll keep stealing kisses.
This piece originally appeared at Happiness, Hope & Harsh Realities, published with permission.