Following the surgery, one massive milestone was crossed, but plenty remained. Nights were filled with my husband and I suctioning her nostrils to prevent her nasal stents from clogging as well as scar massaging treatments. (Don’t let the word massage fool you.) The internal struggle of whether or not to painfully massage her scar after suctioning despite her escalating cries isn’t something I’d thought to Google before I found myself in that exact situation night after night.
On one of those nights I remember thinking back to a conversation I had with Dr Mary D’Alton, both a close friend and world-class OB/GYN, after our first loss. She told me every milestone begets another, and each is packed with equal parts of joy and terror. At every step, you just want what’s best for your child. From that positive pee-stick test, through the first ultrasound, the 20 week scan, birth, hospital discharge, day one at home, month one, and on and on: the worry doesn’t stop. In fact, Dr D’Alton said don’t expect it to stop when your kids are in their 30s and they have their own kids — just ask my mom. It comes with the territory. The motherhood journey has moments of unbridled optimism offset by lows of complete despair and everything in between. Despite a very helpful husband, I couldn’t help but feel alone at times. It’s you and the baby, and for those first 40 weeks, the baby isn’t saying much, just kicks and flutters, especially throughout the night. Then I met Alex.
Alex knew exactly what the roller coaster of becoming a mother was like, and she had been through her own ups, downs and sideways. We immediately bonded as two moms who wanted to do our tiny part in building a brand for expecting mothers in search of answers, resources and people who just get it. With my OB/GYN, Dr Banafsheh Bayati, I learned that my daughter’s type of cleft was associated with a folic acid deficiency, and despite taking what I believed was the best prenatal available, it’s possible I hadn’t done enough. It’s useless to think back with “coulda” and “shoulda”, but in partnering with Alex and Dr. Bayati, our goal is to remove even just 1% of the unknowns and fears associated with becoming a mom.
We’ll never make it easy, but it’s our aim to make whatever difference we can in this journey by supporting women along the way.
