Recently I wrote a post about common Momisms and how they can get you into big trouble. You know Momisms, those things moms say to get a short reprieve, to conceal criticism, to maintain our sanity, or simply because we have no clue what our child just said and we’re trying to go with it? Since that column seemed to resonate, I thought I’d add a handy decoder to translate what we say vs. what we actually MEAN.
Do not let this fall into the hands of your children or it’ll ruin it for the rest of us!
Things moms say vs. what we actually mean
Maybe –> Probably not
We’ll see –> NEVER
Let’s play the quiet game. –> Stop talking, my ears are bleeding.
I love the outfit you put together. –> Please spill something on it before we leave the house.
Where did you hear that? –> Your information is completely false.
One day you’ll thank me. –> Hopefully, you’ll forget this ever happened.
Do you think that’s a good idea? –> That’s the worst idea EVER!
Uh-huh –> I have no earthly idea what you’re talking about.
Wow, that’s great sweetie! –> I still have no idea what you just said, but you sounded excited so I went with it.
Because I said so. –> I’m losing this battle and this is my last resort (or I’m tired of explaining stuff).
You are the best. –> Millennium mom-speak meaning anything from “you really are the best” to “you are thoroughly average.”
Just a sec. or In a minute –> I’m not stopping what I’m doing or moving from this position until you scream for me again.
Your forehead is cold as ice. –> Get up, get dressed, get the f*&^ to school.
Go ask Dad –> His turn to be the bad guy—mwahahaha.
I love you –> There is nothing on Earth I could love more!
OK, print this and keep it in your purse for a quick reference. In case you wanna say something and don’t know quite how to put it.
You can follow the insanity ON FACEBOOK. And of course, please share these with all the moms who speak the language!